MS Walk

This is not adoption related... but we participated in the MS Walk this morning. Although 6 of our 21 team members did not show, we had a great turnout. It was just a little chilly and the 3 mile walk flew by. I found myself getting emotional as we were walking - it was overwelming to see so many people out walking for the same reason we were: A CURE for this devestating disease. I'm sure even more so for Lindsey, but many times it feels to me that we are all alone with this disease. Most people don't even know what it is, let along the treatment details. Lindsey shared with me this afternoon that she felt the same way. She also said it was hard to be there and see people who were more advanced in the disease. A girl near Lindsey's age was out walking and having a hard time. I can't imagine watching her and wondering will that be me one day? My sister is the most brave girl I know. Please Lord, please give us (more) grace.

I contacted the agency we originally planned to go with about taking their Saturday PRIDE classes. Unfortunately I had not informed them we were going with another agency so I started out on the wrong foot and had to apologize for not informing them we'd changed our minds. Geesh. I swear if I were rich I'd send flowers to EVERY person we came in contact with in the adoption process. Wouldn't that make a difference, especially with females? Talk about having no adoption woes! I suppose you could send the guys some kind of meat basket or something :) Fortunately I don't have money for that, so I am forced once again to rely on God alone to intervene. This is fortunate because 1) He is faithful and 2) because my faith is strengthened.

Oh great, the song "Cinderella" by Steven Curtis Chapman (?) is on. Now I'm getting emotional again....

Father, please continue to watch over my kids, wherever they may be. I pray that somehow they can know someone who has never met them loves them very much.

Problems... Satan or a Test, or Just Life?

One of the classes does fall on my exam date. I can possibly take the class through another agency but our recruiter made it clear that it was a lot of trouble. Adoption is a lot of trouble, but it's worth it. I'm going to contact another agency that only offers Saturday classes and ask if they will let me take the classes through them. This would solve a lot of problems for me, although I did want to take the classes with Greg. We'll I'm going to find out this afternoon, all they can do is say no!

Greg and I were discussing last night how bad the timing on this is. He just started a new job, I'm in the middle of a tough semester, I'm FINALLY going to be student teaching (I think), I won't be working after this summer.... it makes me wonder why now. Biblically we know that God allows Satan to have some "power" to challenge us.... could this be a test of faith? "Oh sure, Brandi, you've been telling everyone you're going to adopt, but now that we're here, can you go the distance?" Now that school is tough, now that finances are about to get really tight, now that Greg is gone all the time (or at least it feels like it). Now.

Oh yeah and the recruiter talked me into getting licensed to foster to adopt. Greg is going to kill me! She did assure me that there would be no pressure later if we don't want to do it - like I believe that. However if D, G & S fall through she said this would be the best way to adopt younger children if we decided later that is what we want to do.

Our Lovely State System - Answers

Okay! I called the "last known" case worker again yesterday - and she picked up the phone. I didn't ask her why she hadn't called me back previously :) Why bite the hand that feeds you... Anyway she gave me a number for another woman who finally got me in touch with the kids' case worker. Very nice lady... anyway the kids are available for adoption now. She did disclose that 2 were on medication, I didn't ask her which ones. Unfortunately this is bad for two reasons: 1) Hello! The kids are on mind altering medication! We're praying now that living in a safe, PERMANENT environment will take away the need and 2) This means I will have to be at the medications class which means I will have to miss TWO nights of class-a class I am barely passing as it is. I'm just hoping it's not the night of my last test. My teacher stated last night if we missed the test we were out of luck. I am hoping she will make an exception if necessary.

The two younger kids are in a home together, the oldest by himself. How lonely. I don't know why this is.... I have read that in some situations if the oldest child has been abused they will abuse the younger kids. I hope this is not the case! Greg and I are praying that God will begin to prepare us for challenges these kids (if they are going to be ours) might bring.

I still don't have any idea of our chances. I asked Greg what he wanted to do. His reply was in typical Greg fashion, "Let's do it anyway". I love my husband.

Another issue we are dealing with is space. We're also beginning to pray about selling our house and buying something bigger, or something Greg feels adding on to would be a good investment. This breaks my heart because we are still "fixing" up the house. Although it is a hodge-podge, it's ours and we've put a lot of sweat into the place!! However we both agree that keeping Lindsey with us will really help if we have THREE kids. Especially with the weird hours that Greg works. This means we need at least 4 bedrooms. I'm putting this one on God, it's too big for me to carry!

Holy smokes, we might be adding THREE kids to our house!

The Waiting Starts Early

Happy Easter! I was hoping for an early release from work today but that dream has died :)

I put in a call Tuesday evening to the Houston CPS Adoption office, and another one to D, G &S's last known social worker Wednesday afternoon. I haven't heard back from either of them. It's a little frustrating to me that the government is always crying about how they need foster and adoptive parents, yet CPS doesn't have the resources (organization?) to return calls. Months ago we filled out an online interest form for state adoption. Nearly a month later someone contacted us. And we wonder why these kids languish in foster care so long? Greg and I would like to know the "adoption status" of the kids before we commit to missing work and school to take the PRIDE classes. Our original plan was to wait until after I was done with school before we started the process, unless we ran into a God ordained situation. After speaking with the agency recruiter about the kids again, I am less certain that we would get them. She basically said that they would go into a "pool" and would be matched with potential parents. Anyone who expressed interest in them, like us, would be considered based on our homestudy, along with any other potential parent. Just 'cause we want them doesn't mean we'll get them! The agency recruiter warned me not to pin my hopes on these kids. I informed her that wasn't a problem, if God wanted us to have them, we'd get them. Until then, I know He knows who they are. She thought that was a great attitude to have :) -we'll see how I'm responding in a few months!!

So I guess we'll continue to prepare to take the classes next month until someone decides to call us back!

Until then it's time to focus on Jesus.... this weekend is about HIM, after all!

Adoption Classes

The agencies all try to make the PRIDE classes accessible to us working adults... some of them offer all Saturdays, others mix Saturdays with weekday evenings. Sounds easy enough, doesn't it? Except that my DH works Saturdays AND evenings with his new sales job. He is supposed to ask his boss about taking off 2 Saturdays, which will mean I have to skip a Monday night class. I'm not happy about it, but we'll do what we have to.

I'm wondering if the adoption recruiter can find out where D, G&S are in the adoption process. If they are unavailable, we can just start this process after I'm done student teaching. I would hate to go through all this trouble to just have to do the classes and homestudy again in a year.

Although, lets be honest, if I don't pass this grammar class I doubt I'll be student teaching in the Spring!

More decisions

When you are adopting from the state you have to take a series of classes called P.R.I.D.E. After contacting the agency of 1st choice, we realized that Greg would have to take off from work 3 straight Saturdays. Through agency of 2nd choice, he would only have to take off 2 Saturdays but would need to be free 4 week nights. And I would have to skip one evening of class. Agency #1 is 30 minutes away from our house, Agency #2 is 15 minutes away. Agency #1 wants to wait until they receive our paperwork from CPS, Agency #2 has already contacted me via phone and e-mail today. Oh, and agency #2 has a policy of coming to our house to meet us prior to us starting the classes.Greg and I will have to talk tonight, then he will have to talk to his Boss. He already had some trouble getting Wednesday evenings off for church. Greg's boss, who adopted an infant 2 years ago, knows that we are planning to adopt so this won't be a surprise.

After we complete the PRIDE course we have a homestudy, which should take another month.

Agency #2 told me there was a good chance that D, G & S are probably pretty healthy mentally because they are not on a state website of available kids. She also said there is a chance we would not get them. The foster families have first choice. Then the kids will go into a pool. Because they have not made it onto the state website, they are "prime" choices for potential adopters. So if they are available before we are licensed, they go to someone else. That is where God comes in. We have to trust in His perfect timing. And if these kids go to other parents, we will continue to seek the kids He wants us to have. It's so amazing/comforting to me that God already knows who we are going to adopt. That even if I can't take care of them right now, He is in control and providing for them.

And so it begins...

I have known for many years that I wanted to adopt. When I met Greg I was thrilled to learn that not only was he dashingly handsome, he also thought adoption was for him. Since we've been married, we are constantly asked, "So when are you two going to have kids?" I always braced myself before I informed them that we planned to adopt. "Why?" or, "Can you not have any of your own?" was the usual response I got. Every once in awhile someone would give me positive feedback. I have learned that this does not matter - what God calls us to do is what is important.
And so we have taken the first steps toward our own adoption. I attended a CPS information meeting in January (Greg was sick). Tonight we filled out our agency preference list and tomorrow I will mail it to CPS.

I am excited and a little scared.

But I trust God.

We have decided that we are going to be open to gender, race, age and quantities. Yes, this means we are open to taking more than one child at a time. Now people are really going to think we are crazy :)

To answer another frequently asked question: we may have our own kids as well. I have NEVER ruled that out. However we both have a strong God-given burden for orphans and so that is where we will begin. And speaking of having babies, CONGRATULATIONS STEVEN AND CATHIE!! WE ARE SO EXCITED FOR YOU. I found out this weekend that one of my oldest friends is pregnant with her first child.

D, G & S

I always wonder how God fits people together. For those of us who can hardly keep up with birthdates, the way God has woven relationships for His purpose is nothing short of amazing. This weekend while helping friends move, we were told about a sibling group in another city that are in foster care. Having drug addict parents and living on the streets led CPS to put these three precious kids into foster care. And yes, I said THREE. Now before you ask me if I'm crazy, let me tell you that yes, we are! :) However we have always said we would be obedient if God led us. Greg and I both feel a burden for these kids and so we have agreed to pursue the situation. Adopting has always been the plan, which I will write more about later, so this isn't a complete surprise. Among wondering what these kids look like, how they behave, would they like us, we are also wondering: How will we keep them while I am student teaching? Where will we keep them? Can we afford them?
Then I remind myself that it couldn't have been easy for God to adopt me. Everytime I focus on me and not Him, everytime I fail to share His love with someone else because I'm afraid (ashamed?) , everytime I sin knowing what I do, I cause Him pain. I am a lot of trouble! Shoot, I am one of those kids in the eyes of others, but not to Him. Thank you Lord for putting up with me.
There are thousands and thousands of kids in foster care. If more Christians put up with the "trouble" of adopting, those kids would have families. Imagine the impact for God's Kingdom. I know I can't save the world, but maybe we can make a difference in the world of a few kids.
But enough drama for now. Please pray with us for God's will.