So, if anyone has any choking issues or find yourself unable to breathe, give me a call! Greg and I are officially CPR certified. I have always wanted to learn CPR but never stopped and did it. Now I am completely prepared to perform the Heimlich Maneuver, so need to fear eating dinner at my house :)
It also looks like I am TB free so far. Always a good thing.
The CPR course included a first-aid "class". By the way, don't put butter on burns. Oh yes, I am so wise and full of information now, you'll all be calling me for my invaluable help with all your kids. Not! However I did learn that making a paste from baking soda and water will take the burn out of an insect bite. So will chewed tobacco, according to our instructor :)
My papers are written. I worked on one until 1 AM and woke up again at 6 AM to continue. I will confess: I finished it this afternoon at work. I know! I'm bad!
But I'm so glad to be done I don't care! I will turn them in at 5:30 and 7:00 then go home and do nothing.
It was really stressful but I'm glad we got all the classes done this month.
Of course now this frees up my schedule to get the house home study ready as well as a million other things.
If anyone loves yard sales we are having one at our church this Saturday. All proceeds go to missionaries. It's Sublett Road Baptist, in Arlington at the corner of Kelly Elliott and Sublett. If you can't find it let me know. I think our youth are also doing a car wash.
I'm also trying to brainstorm ideas for making new foster kids feel more comfortable and at home with us. One family gave me the idea of framing a photo of each kid on the wall as soon as you can. We also have some ladies at our church that can embroider names on fabric and I was thinking maybe personalized pillows would be cool, that the kids can take with them. A foster family that I worshipped with in Weatherford made garden stones with each child's hand print in them with their name. You can get kits at Michaels. I definitely think that is an awesome idea. And maybe signs for the bedroom door with their name on it. What else? I'm willing to try just about anything to help make the transition smoother for these kids.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Just One More To Go....and My Exam is OVER-sorta...
We had another class tonight. It was supposed to run from 6-10. However the teacher did not show for some reason, so the foster recruiter taught instead and did a great job. It turns out that she was a foster group Mom and has fostered over 300 kids in her day. I had no idea! What an unspoken hero. Oh, and she kept almost all teenage girls. Very brave!
Tonights class was a "management" class to teach us how to keep our cool when our kids make us crazy :) We got into groups, read scenarios and answered as a group how we would respond. It was interesting, especially with Joyce, the foster recruiter I referred to above, supplementing each scenario with a crazy story from her own experiences. Very enlightening AND amusing.
I took my grammar exam today... as usual I studied most on stuff that was not on the test. I honestly have no idea how I did. Fortunately this teacher gives partial credit or I'd have dropped this class long ago. Now I have a take-home essay to complete.
Tommorrow night is our last night of class... CPR certification and a TB test (wish me luck:)
Tonights class was a "management" class to teach us how to keep our cool when our kids make us crazy :) We got into groups, read scenarios and answered as a group how we would respond. It was interesting, especially with Joyce, the foster recruiter I referred to above, supplementing each scenario with a crazy story from her own experiences. Very enlightening AND amusing.
I took my grammar exam today... as usual I studied most on stuff that was not on the test. I honestly have no idea how I did. Fortunately this teacher gives partial credit or I'd have dropped this class long ago. Now I have a take-home essay to complete.
Tommorrow night is our last night of class... CPR certification and a TB test (wish me luck:)
Sunday, April 27, 2008
PRIDE #4 is History!
We completed PRIDE #4, "Pre-Service" training yesterday. ALL DAY yesterday :) Basically they walked us through our foster agreements. Then we learned about abuse... Shaken Baby Syndrome, SIDS, Sexual Abuse, etc. Needless to say it was not fun stuff.
An estimated 80% of children in foster care have been sexually abused. I am still trying to wrap my mind around that unspeakable horror.
As I have said in past posts, we have met many amazing people so far along the journey. Another couple, Martin and Holly, have been in all our PRIDE classes so far. They are a young couple who've been married one year longer than us. Yesterday Holly and Martin pulled Greg and I aside and wanted to share a dream Holly had about us. I know many people scoff at the importance/significance of dreams but I can show you many times God used dreams or visions to make Himself heard in the Bible. Anyway, in Holly's dream Greg was jumping up and down like a kid (nothing new there) and I was sitting calmly at a table concentrating on something. She said when she woke up she began to ask God to reveal any importance from this dream to her. Holly said that she began to feel that she was supposed to share with us that we are matched perfectly and that our personalities and parenting styles would compliment each other. I was very impressed that she would share and really felt like it was more confirmation from the Holy Spirit. Since we have been so stressed lately it was very encouraging to hear the Lord speaking to us through someone.
I took Friday off with no trouble, my Boss never mentioned it again. I finished a research paper. If anyone wants to proof read it for me let me know! Today and most of tomorrow I will finish studying for my grammar test. If you guys could pray for me at 3 PM I would really appreciate and covet those prayers!
I am beginning to think that the stress of "becoming" a parent pales in comparison of grammar exams.... :)
OH! We found out another cool piece of info: caucasian children 6 and older, Minority children 2 and older, and Special Needs children are eligible to receive monthly support, continued Medicaid coverage AND free college tuition through a Texas state college AFTER their adoption is finalized. This is supposed to be an incentive to help adopt out hard age groups. Although my first instinct was that we shouldn't "sponge" off the system... I began to realize that any money we might receive could help supplement our income while I was in school, and anything else could be saved for the kids' college needs: books, dorms, etc. Or help pay for private school if I decide to keep working. Not to mention that Medicaid would cover expensive essentials like braces... either way, we're paying for it out of our tax dollars. If the state is going to give this money away, we are going to accept it to help our kids get a top notch education.
I'm going to study now. I'm glad this will all be over Wednesday. I'm already beginning to slip into "I don't care" mode!
An estimated 80% of children in foster care have been sexually abused. I am still trying to wrap my mind around that unspeakable horror.
As I have said in past posts, we have met many amazing people so far along the journey. Another couple, Martin and Holly, have been in all our PRIDE classes so far. They are a young couple who've been married one year longer than us. Yesterday Holly and Martin pulled Greg and I aside and wanted to share a dream Holly had about us. I know many people scoff at the importance/significance of dreams but I can show you many times God used dreams or visions to make Himself heard in the Bible. Anyway, in Holly's dream Greg was jumping up and down like a kid (nothing new there) and I was sitting calmly at a table concentrating on something. She said when she woke up she began to ask God to reveal any importance from this dream to her. Holly said that she began to feel that she was supposed to share with us that we are matched perfectly and that our personalities and parenting styles would compliment each other. I was very impressed that she would share and really felt like it was more confirmation from the Holy Spirit. Since we have been so stressed lately it was very encouraging to hear the Lord speaking to us through someone.
I took Friday off with no trouble, my Boss never mentioned it again. I finished a research paper. If anyone wants to proof read it for me let me know! Today and most of tomorrow I will finish studying for my grammar test. If you guys could pray for me at 3 PM I would really appreciate and covet those prayers!
I am beginning to think that the stress of "becoming" a parent pales in comparison of grammar exams.... :)
OH! We found out another cool piece of info: caucasian children 6 and older, Minority children 2 and older, and Special Needs children are eligible to receive monthly support, continued Medicaid coverage AND free college tuition through a Texas state college AFTER their adoption is finalized. This is supposed to be an incentive to help adopt out hard age groups. Although my first instinct was that we shouldn't "sponge" off the system... I began to realize that any money we might receive could help supplement our income while I was in school, and anything else could be saved for the kids' college needs: books, dorms, etc. Or help pay for private school if I decide to keep working. Not to mention that Medicaid would cover expensive essentials like braces... either way, we're paying for it out of our tax dollars. If the state is going to give this money away, we are going to accept it to help our kids get a top notch education.
I'm going to study now. I'm glad this will all be over Wednesday. I'm already beginning to slip into "I don't care" mode!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
3 Down....3 To Go!
Last night we took a PRIDE class called PMAB. Please don't ask me what that stands for. Basically the class taught us what to do when a child confronts us verbally or physically. Basically you are not allowed to spank a foster child, or use any force against them unless you are putting them in a hold. And, say you're in Target and your foster child is screaming at the tops of his or her lungs, while lying on the floor, if that child is 5 or older you are not allowed to pick them up and carry them out. We also learned some techniques for getting out of an argument when you've told the child no and they won't give up. All in all it was very interesting and we got some creative ideas we never would have thought of.
We learned some moves to protect ourselves in the case that a child attacks us physically. I got really good at practicing my chokehold on Greg :) We met a family that fosters full-time and has 12 boys in their home. They assured us that being attacked physically is common. That was just what I wanted to hear - NOT! :) Oh well. They have been fostering for 5 years and have used other agencies. They said this one is the best so far, which assured us more than ever that we are in the right place.We are coming into contact with so many courageous, selfless and amazing people on this journey.
We had a lot of fun in the PMAB class... we haven't done a lot on our own lately so coming to these classes has been a chance to just hang out together. It was funny because on our way there last night I asked Greg if he had noticed that there is never any prayer at any of the classes. Even when they fed us Saturday lunch, no one gathered us together for prayer. Well at the end of our class last night our teacher closed us out in prayer. Now that's what I'm talking about!
I would like to apologize for all the "Venting" I've been doing... however I'm just trying to be honest. I guess I can't hide the fact that deep down, I'm a crybaby :) I'm hoping other people interested in fostering to adopt will find this blog and get a realistic idea of what the process is like. I would also like people to read through the lines... and see that even though I am constantly freaking out, the end results show that God was always in control.
We learned some moves to protect ourselves in the case that a child attacks us physically. I got really good at practicing my chokehold on Greg :) We met a family that fosters full-time and has 12 boys in their home. They assured us that being attacked physically is common. That was just what I wanted to hear - NOT! :) Oh well. They have been fostering for 5 years and have used other agencies. They said this one is the best so far, which assured us more than ever that we are in the right place.We are coming into contact with so many courageous, selfless and amazing people on this journey.
We had a lot of fun in the PMAB class... we haven't done a lot on our own lately so coming to these classes has been a chance to just hang out together. It was funny because on our way there last night I asked Greg if he had noticed that there is never any prayer at any of the classes. Even when they fed us Saturday lunch, no one gathered us together for prayer. Well at the end of our class last night our teacher closed us out in prayer. Now that's what I'm talking about!
I would like to apologize for all the "Venting" I've been doing... however I'm just trying to be honest. I guess I can't hide the fact that deep down, I'm a crybaby :) I'm hoping other people interested in fostering to adopt will find this blog and get a realistic idea of what the process is like. I would also like people to read through the lines... and see that even though I am constantly freaking out, the end results show that God was always in control.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Another Class Down
We went to the "Medicine" class last night. Although it was less about medicine and more about mental disorders. That's fine, if any of my kids are on meds you'd better believe I will be an expert on that medication :)
Going to this class was interesting... Greg and I ended up having a meltdown Sunday evening. We were trying to look at our finances AFTER I quit my job and it was not pretty. Then Greg was looking at his sales for this month, which are not pretty after missing so many appointments for these classes and being sick. We ended up fighting and really not speaking until Monday afternoon. A few other things happened to escalate things but this is the short version. It was a little ironic actually because I had been talking to my adoption hero friend Rachel about keeping your marriage together during adoption Sunday afternoon at lunch. Satan must've been hanging out at Cici's that day :)
Anyway, I woke up that morning deciding that we needed to put these classes off until June (the next time they're offered). Obviously my marriage is more important and must come first. It was a VERY bad morning. As I was packing my lunch before work I came across a picture of D, G & S on the fridge which caused a small breakdown. I had another small breakdown (and blessing) when my adoption hero friend Rachel wrote me that her 5 year old Liberian boy is praying for my kids to come home. How sweet is that? However, as you can tell by the title of this blog, the adoption training goes on! I decided to call Greg before I contacted the agency. When he called we made up and I asked him if he wanted to put off the classes and he said no. I love my husband!
So all was well until I emailed my teacher asking if I could drop off a digital recorder for her to record class last night. Ordinarily I wouldn't ask but we were reviewing for our final test. She said no. Then I started freaking out again. Talk about faith of a mustard seed, sometimes I wonder just how small my faith is.
I talked to Greg at 4:30 and he was in downtown Dallas on his way to an appointment. Our class started at 6. Another breakdown :) So I get home around 5 and start praying, "Lord, PLEASE tell me I didn't miss my final review for nothing....". Not even 5 minutes later Greg calls and says he is on his way home. Evidently the customer couldn't pass the credit check. Now I'm saying God gave these people bad credit, but hey it did work to my advantage :)
I do have another prayer request (always some drama in my life lately). I gave my boss a list of dates I wanted off a month ago. They include this Friday and next Monday so that I can catch up on studying for my test Monday. Plus I need to take my test early in the day Monday since I have another adoption class that evening. My boss called me into his office today and wanted to know why I wanted each day off. I told him about this Friday and Monday and he questioned why I needed all of Friday to study. I assured him it was necessary. At that point I wasn't amused so I told him I didn't remember why I wanted the rest of the dates off. He told me to come back when I did. Thank goodness I had to leave for lunch then or I might be sending you this message from the unemployment line :) I guess my question is: Does he have a right to ask me WHAT my vacation is for? I have never had to state a reason for asking for vacation time at any other company, I just requested the time off. If they could give it to me, great, if not, I'd deal with it. Now a leave of absence or sick time, sure, they deserve an explanation. But should I have to JUSTIFY asking for vacation days? Oh, and I was just asking for single days off, not a week at a time. So let me know if I am wrong on this or not. I don't know what I'm going to do if he tells me no for Friday. For the sake of my sanity I am counting on having that time to study. I really need to pass this test or I'll be in summer school all of July.
Hmm... better bust out with my new favorite verse:
"O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you" -Psalm 84:12
Going to this class was interesting... Greg and I ended up having a meltdown Sunday evening. We were trying to look at our finances AFTER I quit my job and it was not pretty. Then Greg was looking at his sales for this month, which are not pretty after missing so many appointments for these classes and being sick. We ended up fighting and really not speaking until Monday afternoon. A few other things happened to escalate things but this is the short version. It was a little ironic actually because I had been talking to my adoption hero friend Rachel about keeping your marriage together during adoption Sunday afternoon at lunch. Satan must've been hanging out at Cici's that day :)
Anyway, I woke up that morning deciding that we needed to put these classes off until June (the next time they're offered). Obviously my marriage is more important and must come first. It was a VERY bad morning. As I was packing my lunch before work I came across a picture of D, G & S on the fridge which caused a small breakdown. I had another small breakdown (and blessing) when my adoption hero friend Rachel wrote me that her 5 year old Liberian boy is praying for my kids to come home. How sweet is that? However, as you can tell by the title of this blog, the adoption training goes on! I decided to call Greg before I contacted the agency. When he called we made up and I asked him if he wanted to put off the classes and he said no. I love my husband!
So all was well until I emailed my teacher asking if I could drop off a digital recorder for her to record class last night. Ordinarily I wouldn't ask but we were reviewing for our final test. She said no. Then I started freaking out again. Talk about faith of a mustard seed, sometimes I wonder just how small my faith is.
I talked to Greg at 4:30 and he was in downtown Dallas on his way to an appointment. Our class started at 6. Another breakdown :) So I get home around 5 and start praying, "Lord, PLEASE tell me I didn't miss my final review for nothing....". Not even 5 minutes later Greg calls and says he is on his way home. Evidently the customer couldn't pass the credit check. Now I'm saying God gave these people bad credit, but hey it did work to my advantage :)
I do have another prayer request (always some drama in my life lately). I gave my boss a list of dates I wanted off a month ago. They include this Friday and next Monday so that I can catch up on studying for my test Monday. Plus I need to take my test early in the day Monday since I have another adoption class that evening. My boss called me into his office today and wanted to know why I wanted each day off. I told him about this Friday and Monday and he questioned why I needed all of Friday to study. I assured him it was necessary. At that point I wasn't amused so I told him I didn't remember why I wanted the rest of the dates off. He told me to come back when I did. Thank goodness I had to leave for lunch then or I might be sending you this message from the unemployment line :) I guess my question is: Does he have a right to ask me WHAT my vacation is for? I have never had to state a reason for asking for vacation time at any other company, I just requested the time off. If they could give it to me, great, if not, I'd deal with it. Now a leave of absence or sick time, sure, they deserve an explanation. But should I have to JUSTIFY asking for vacation days? Oh, and I was just asking for single days off, not a week at a time. So let me know if I am wrong on this or not. I don't know what I'm going to do if he tells me no for Friday. For the sake of my sanity I am counting on having that time to study. I really need to pass this test or I'll be in summer school all of July.
Hmm... better bust out with my new favorite verse:
"O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you" -Psalm 84:12
Saturday, April 19, 2008
So Tired...
Well we took our first adoption class today. It went well and we met a lot of really nice couples. We also got a LOT of information and feel like we're in overdrive!
More than ever I am concerned that we may not have the full story on D, G & S. We heard more stories of CPS misleading people about kids' histories and behaviors. However, I didn't realize that most CPS caseworkers in Texas have over 100 kids on their caseload. No wonder the burnout rate is so high... it's already an emotionally crippling job without more work than 3 people could handle.
As we are licensed we will stay open to all options in case precious D, G & S don't work out or are adopted by someone else. Greg and I will be praying about how to fill out our paper work in these next two weeks. At this point if we foster-to-adopt it will have to be school aged children so that I can finish school and student teach. We do know that we are not concerned about gender or ethnicity.
We also heard an incredible story of a family that adopted a 17 year old. I glanced back at him to find him watching me and we were both crying. There are so many ways God can use us in this journey and we can't wait to find out how!
On another note, we found out today that we each need 5 hours of supervised childcare within an agency foster or adoptive home. So we get to go watch someone else's kids for FIVE HOURS (when?? when will we fit this in?) while they evaluate us. While I can see the wisdom in this it feels like one more thing to add to our already overflowing plate.
Another thing we learned is during our home study Greg's guns will be an issue. Guns and ammo have to be locked in separate locations. (I guess if someone breaks into our home we'll just ask them to hold on while we unload both boxes and load the gun!) The agency suggests a gun safe or locked metal box. We decided today that we'll give Greg's shot gun to his parents to keep in their gun safe and buy TWO lock boxes for the handgun and ammo.
We will also need to finish our living room before the home study. For those who don't know, we bought a fixer upper and are still working on it. The house had wall-to-wall carpeting in the living room. We stained the concrete which leaves 5-1/2" of bare wood showing all around the walls where molding would normally be. You'd have to see it to understand. It's good though because this forces us to get back into house repair mode. And I'm going to talk to my Dad about finishing the mantel for our fireplace.
In summary:
We need to get physicals. $$
We need to take TB tests. $$
We need to get fingerprinted. $$
We need to have the city come inspect our home. $$
We need to child proof our home. $$
We need to gun proof our home. $$
We need to complete repairs on our home. $$
We need a fire extinguisher for our home. $$
Oh yeah, and we need to save money so I can quit my job in August. $$
Why did I think adopting through the state would be affordable? :)
And so I turn again to my new favorite scripture:
"Oh Lord Almighty, Blessed is the man who trusts in you"
Psalm 84:12
More than ever I am concerned that we may not have the full story on D, G & S. We heard more stories of CPS misleading people about kids' histories and behaviors. However, I didn't realize that most CPS caseworkers in Texas have over 100 kids on their caseload. No wonder the burnout rate is so high... it's already an emotionally crippling job without more work than 3 people could handle.
As we are licensed we will stay open to all options in case precious D, G & S don't work out or are adopted by someone else. Greg and I will be praying about how to fill out our paper work in these next two weeks. At this point if we foster-to-adopt it will have to be school aged children so that I can finish school and student teach. We do know that we are not concerned about gender or ethnicity.
We also heard an incredible story of a family that adopted a 17 year old. I glanced back at him to find him watching me and we were both crying. There are so many ways God can use us in this journey and we can't wait to find out how!
On another note, we found out today that we each need 5 hours of supervised childcare within an agency foster or adoptive home. So we get to go watch someone else's kids for FIVE HOURS (when?? when will we fit this in?) while they evaluate us. While I can see the wisdom in this it feels like one more thing to add to our already overflowing plate.
Another thing we learned is during our home study Greg's guns will be an issue. Guns and ammo have to be locked in separate locations. (I guess if someone breaks into our home we'll just ask them to hold on while we unload both boxes and load the gun!) The agency suggests a gun safe or locked metal box. We decided today that we'll give Greg's shot gun to his parents to keep in their gun safe and buy TWO lock boxes for the handgun and ammo.
We will also need to finish our living room before the home study. For those who don't know, we bought a fixer upper and are still working on it. The house had wall-to-wall carpeting in the living room. We stained the concrete which leaves 5-1/2" of bare wood showing all around the walls where molding would normally be. You'd have to see it to understand. It's good though because this forces us to get back into house repair mode. And I'm going to talk to my Dad about finishing the mantel for our fireplace.
In summary:
We need to get physicals. $$
We need to take TB tests. $$
We need to get fingerprinted. $$
We need to have the city come inspect our home. $$
We need to child proof our home. $$
We need to gun proof our home. $$
We need to complete repairs on our home. $$
We need a fire extinguisher for our home. $$
Oh yeah, and we need to save money so I can quit my job in August. $$
Why did I think adopting through the state would be affordable? :)
And so I turn again to my new favorite scripture:
"Oh Lord Almighty, Blessed is the man who trusts in you"
Psalm 84:12
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Test 4
Is passed. Barely. And I do mean barely. Okay, I'll just come out with it: I made a 70. And I was excited to get that, believe me. I am such an underachiever.
Thank you God! I couldn't have done it on my own.
Last but certainly not least is my comprehensive final on the 28th which is 40% of my grade.
Please keep praying!
Thank you God! I couldn't have done it on my own.
Last but certainly not least is my comprehensive final on the 28th which is 40% of my grade.
Please keep praying!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Agency Interview
Everything went well. The agency recruiter and I think the guy in charge of the agency came to our house. They pulled up right behind me. It was a 30 minute visit...unfortunately they wanted to see the room the kids would stay in, AKA our messy office!
God really took care of this one... my boss didn't ask too many questions about why I needed to leave early (especially since I wasn't completely forthright with him but that's another story). Greg is STILL sick, although he did go to the doctor, so he was already home.
The guy in charge, (Mike/Dave?) warned us that rarely do people get the kids they request. He didn't explain clearly why that was the case. We'll see - it's all in God's hands, statistics are thrown out the window in my opinion. Either way we accept God's will.
One thing that did disturb me a little was Mike/Dave's warning that social workers tend to sugar coat their description of kids to make them seem more adoptable. That is not fair to the kids or the parents. Greg pointed out we have 60 days after they come home with us to change our minds, so how is lying to us from the beginning good for any situation? It's not like we wouldn't find out the truth eventually - after the kids are excited about having a Mom and Dad.
HOWEVER I do feel better knowing that not only have I spoken with the caseworker, I have also received information from her supervisor. Hopefully I was given honest feedback. And Mike/Dave (how can I NOT know the guys name when I just met him 2 hours ago? Honestly!) also admitted that since the kids not being on the TARE/State adoption website was a good sign.
Mike/Dave also agreed that we needed an additional bedroom. If push comes to shove, we will need a bigger house. Greg will NOT agree to add a bedroom onto this one. Lindsey and I talked about it, and if we do end up with D, G & S she will move in with my parents until we upgrade the house. I would rather not buy/sell anything until I am in my teaching job.
Okay, so now I will start to gather our paperwork and we start classes this Saturday. And somewhere in between I'll write a 10 page research paper and study for my comprehensive grammar test :) God, You are in control here - 'cause I'm certainly not!!
God really took care of this one... my boss didn't ask too many questions about why I needed to leave early (especially since I wasn't completely forthright with him but that's another story). Greg is STILL sick, although he did go to the doctor, so he was already home.
The guy in charge, (Mike/Dave?) warned us that rarely do people get the kids they request. He didn't explain clearly why that was the case. We'll see - it's all in God's hands, statistics are thrown out the window in my opinion. Either way we accept God's will.
One thing that did disturb me a little was Mike/Dave's warning that social workers tend to sugar coat their description of kids to make them seem more adoptable. That is not fair to the kids or the parents. Greg pointed out we have 60 days after they come home with us to change our minds, so how is lying to us from the beginning good for any situation? It's not like we wouldn't find out the truth eventually - after the kids are excited about having a Mom and Dad.
HOWEVER I do feel better knowing that not only have I spoken with the caseworker, I have also received information from her supervisor. Hopefully I was given honest feedback. And Mike/Dave (how can I NOT know the guys name when I just met him 2 hours ago? Honestly!) also admitted that since the kids not being on the TARE/State adoption website was a good sign.
Mike/Dave also agreed that we needed an additional bedroom. If push comes to shove, we will need a bigger house. Greg will NOT agree to add a bedroom onto this one. Lindsey and I talked about it, and if we do end up with D, G & S she will move in with my parents until we upgrade the house. I would rather not buy/sell anything until I am in my teaching job.
Okay, so now I will start to gather our paperwork and we start classes this Saturday. And somewhere in between I'll write a 10 page research paper and study for my comprehensive grammar test :) God, You are in control here - 'cause I'm certainly not!!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
When It Rains It Pours
"Oh Lord Almighty, Blessed is the man that trusts in you" - Psalm 84:12
We received word tonight that my Grandmother, my father's Mother, is being taken to hospice tonight. Ouch. This one does hurt. Although she has always lived in Ohio, Grandma always made an effort to stay in touch with us and came to see us every summer growing up.
I'm praying for my Dad tonight. Even thinking about losing both of my parents within a week is enough to make me hit my knees. But even when Dad is hurting he won't show it. He's always been the tough guy. I don't know how I turned into such a cry baby!
And speaking of my Dad, he has an appointment with a gastro specialist on the 21st. They are pretty sure he will need his gall bladder removed.
I took test 4 of 5 tonight in my grammar class. Let's just say it wasn't pretty. I'm going to register for the summer class to ensure I have a seat just in case.
Sweet Pea, our "stray dog" cried and pawed at her crate for hours last night during the thunderstorm. I finally let her out of her crate and she slept like a baby. I woke up the next morning (2 hours later) and she was sleeping in her crate again. (BIG dramatic sigh!)
When life gets tough I read a favorite book by Max Lucado, Six Hours One Friday. It's about anchoring deep, with Christ, when the storms hit. I'm tired but I think I'd better crack it open tonight for encouragement. It's a good one and I highly recommend it.
I didn't mean to whine tonight, but sometimes it just feels good to let it all out. I'm okay though. When life starts wearing me down I want to just lean right back into it. God is God through the good and the bad.
We received word tonight that my Grandmother, my father's Mother, is being taken to hospice tonight. Ouch. This one does hurt. Although she has always lived in Ohio, Grandma always made an effort to stay in touch with us and came to see us every summer growing up.
I'm praying for my Dad tonight. Even thinking about losing both of my parents within a week is enough to make me hit my knees. But even when Dad is hurting he won't show it. He's always been the tough guy. I don't know how I turned into such a cry baby!
And speaking of my Dad, he has an appointment with a gastro specialist on the 21st. They are pretty sure he will need his gall bladder removed.
I took test 4 of 5 tonight in my grammar class. Let's just say it wasn't pretty. I'm going to register for the summer class to ensure I have a seat just in case.
Sweet Pea, our "stray dog" cried and pawed at her crate for hours last night during the thunderstorm. I finally let her out of her crate and she slept like a baby. I woke up the next morning (2 hours later) and she was sleeping in her crate again. (BIG dramatic sigh!)
When life gets tough I read a favorite book by Max Lucado, Six Hours One Friday. It's about anchoring deep, with Christ, when the storms hit. I'm tired but I think I'd better crack it open tonight for encouragement. It's a good one and I highly recommend it.
I didn't mean to whine tonight, but sometimes it just feels good to let it all out. I'm okay though. When life starts wearing me down I want to just lean right back into it. God is God through the good and the bad.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Legacy
"Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers"
-Proverbs 17:6
My Grandfather, Neil Lugthart, passed away Sunday, April 6th at 3:00AM. My Dad called me around 9AM to let me know. It's funny how you react to stuff like this. Honestly, my response was pretty matter-of-fact. He'd been sick a long time, and although he was usually nice to my sister and I, he wasn't always a nice person. Lindsey and I were talking with Mom about how we felt about Grandpa passing and how Dad feels about it. Both of my parents are children of alcoholics (their fathers). My childhood is a miracle considering the statistics that show children of alcoholics most likely will become alcoholics themselves. So having known our Grandfather as such, it is hard to mourn him as some would expect us to.
On one hand you are relieved that they are out of pain. Alcoholics tend to isolate themselves in the end and are very lonely. So my Grandfather had many health issues and was mostly alone. We tried to get him to move down to the Dallas area but he refused. He had a cat that was his life, and lots of regrets.
My Grandfather assured me on a past visit that he had put his trust in Jesus Christ. He was a member of the LDS Church. We talked about it and I can only count on what he told me. Perhaps I will see him again one day. I would like that second chance.
In the end, I think more than the loss of him, we mourn the lack of relationship we should have had. People have been surprised that we are not more upset. But how do you mourn something you never had? Perhaps we should mourn that we do not mourn.
As Greg and I approach parenthood ourselves, we realize how blessed we are to have such amazing grandparents to offer our children. I am grateful to have had the godly influence of my Mother's mother to show me the love a grandparent has.
If the thought of losing your grandparents brings a tear to your eye, or their memories make you long for them, count yourself lucky.
Monday, April 7, 2008
One more hurdle down
I talked to my professor tonight and she didn't even bat an eye when I asked if I could take my final exam earlier. No problem! Woohoo!
Now I just have to study and pass the darn thing! :)
Now I just have to study and pass the darn thing! :)
Friday, April 4, 2008
Case Worker Update
I called and talked to the kids' actual case worker. Ironically, her name is Brandi :) I had her Boss as a contact, and when I called about the kids she told me the case worker was standing in her office. Both ladies were AWESOME and answered as many of my questions as they could. They also said I could bug them as much as I wanted which was very naive of them :) The main question they couldn't/wouldn't answer was where the kids' parents were. I really wanted to know if they were in jail... but they said I couldn't find out details like that until we were licensed, which is reasonable. Oh, and no one else is interested in them so far.
So let's start with the good stuff... all the kids are doing well in school. S, the 4 year old, is in preschool and doing well. All kids have good behavior and "take responsibility for their actions". I asked why the younger were separated from the oldest. The supervisor told me that she honestly didn't remember, but that she was sure it was because they couldn't find a home to take all three. The caseworker said that all three kids were agreeable to the idea of being adopted.
Some "bad" stuff: All three are on ADHD medicine. I didn't say anything to the social workers, but I figure if I was in foster care I'd need meds to help me concentrate too! Having a 4 year old on ADHD meds seems a little ridiculous to me, however these are not normal circumstances. Hopefully being in a stable home will help them come off of these drugs. It is my personal opinion that ADD and ADHD are way over diagnosed in children and that any behavior that warrants such a diagnosis is a consequence of too much TV and other stimuli. However, that is only my unprofessional, non-parental opinion! But I am not going to worry about it, at least they are not on antidepressants or anything like that.
D, the oldest is in therapy, which will probably need to continue. I'm thinking he will have a hard time moving schools again. More to pray about!
Okay. So now we finish the classes and the home study. After we are licensed, our case worker will contact the kids' caseworker. Some special "meeting" will take place to decide if we are good candidates for the kids. If that is a go, the kids' caseworker will send our caseworker the kids' files to go over with us. If we are still interested, we'll ALL have a big meeting: both caseworkers, both foster parents, D's therapist and a few others. At this point we can ask even more questions about the kids. If we are STILL interested, visits will begin. The first couple will involve us going to Houston. They will take place in the foster homes and give us an opportunity to see the kids in a comfortable environment. After that we can take them out, and eventually work up to an overnight visit. The cool thing about that is that CPS will bring the kids to us. Excellent! Then eventually we all agree we like each other, they come stay with us and 60 days later the adoption is finalized.
So let's start with the good stuff... all the kids are doing well in school. S, the 4 year old, is in preschool and doing well. All kids have good behavior and "take responsibility for their actions". I asked why the younger were separated from the oldest. The supervisor told me that she honestly didn't remember, but that she was sure it was because they couldn't find a home to take all three. The caseworker said that all three kids were agreeable to the idea of being adopted.
Some "bad" stuff: All three are on ADHD medicine. I didn't say anything to the social workers, but I figure if I was in foster care I'd need meds to help me concentrate too! Having a 4 year old on ADHD meds seems a little ridiculous to me, however these are not normal circumstances. Hopefully being in a stable home will help them come off of these drugs. It is my personal opinion that ADD and ADHD are way over diagnosed in children and that any behavior that warrants such a diagnosis is a consequence of too much TV and other stimuli. However, that is only my unprofessional, non-parental opinion! But I am not going to worry about it, at least they are not on antidepressants or anything like that.
D, the oldest is in therapy, which will probably need to continue. I'm thinking he will have a hard time moving schools again. More to pray about!
Okay. So now we finish the classes and the home study. After we are licensed, our case worker will contact the kids' caseworker. Some special "meeting" will take place to decide if we are good candidates for the kids. If that is a go, the kids' caseworker will send our caseworker the kids' files to go over with us. If we are still interested, we'll ALL have a big meeting: both caseworkers, both foster parents, D's therapist and a few others. At this point we can ask even more questions about the kids. If we are STILL interested, visits will begin. The first couple will involve us going to Houston. They will take place in the foster homes and give us an opportunity to see the kids in a comfortable environment. After that we can take them out, and eventually work up to an overnight visit. The cool thing about that is that CPS will bring the kids to us. Excellent! Then eventually we all agree we like each other, they come stay with us and 60 days later the adoption is finalized.
The Next Step
On April 15th we're supposed to meet the adoption recruiter at our house at 4:00 PM. Greg is NOT going to request time off for that afternoon, we've decided to let God work that out for us. If necessary we'll reschedule. We feel like Greg has already asked his Boss for a lot of time off, especially for someone just starting out, and we didn't want to ask for more. So if God wants this appointment to happen, it will! 4:00PM is the latest the recruiter would meet with us. I can't say I blame her, but... it makes it really difficult for working folk to meet all these requirements.
Our first adoption class is in 16 days!
In the meanwhile, I'm going to start gathering copies of drivers licenses, marriage certificates, and all of the many other items we have to turn in. We also have to get physicals done... I may try to schedule those now if they don't "expire" before the year is up.
I sent the kids Great-Grandmother a card returning the photos she sent me. I tried to give her a summary style update of where we are in the process. I don't want to get her hopes up on us getting the kids. It may be too late though.
I'm planning on calling the kids' social worker today for a checkup...
We're still praying about my exam date! And money! And room! And always for the kids....
Whew!
Our first adoption class is in 16 days!
In the meanwhile, I'm going to start gathering copies of drivers licenses, marriage certificates, and all of the many other items we have to turn in. We also have to get physicals done... I may try to schedule those now if they don't "expire" before the year is up.
I sent the kids Great-Grandmother a card returning the photos she sent me. I tried to give her a summary style update of where we are in the process. I don't want to get her hopes up on us getting the kids. It may be too late though.
I'm planning on calling the kids' social worker today for a checkup...
We're still praying about my exam date! And money! And room! And always for the kids....
Whew!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Greg is Ready for Class!
Greg showed his boss the PRIDE schedule today. It's 6 classes... 2 Saturdays and 4 evenings. That is a LOT OF missed sales appointments in April. His boss was pretty nice about it, but asked if we had to take ALL of the classes. I could tell Greg was feeling a little overwhelmed at missing that much work, especially at the end of the month. His job carries a lot of pressure. However, he is "Employee of the Week" this week and so far has made all of his sales goals. Thank you Sublett Road BC! :)
Now I need to talk to my professor.... I will have to miss a night of review as well as the final test. She does have a make up date on the syllabus. I'm going to ask my boss for the entire day off then ask my professor if I can take the test earlier in the day.
Unless of course I can just take the Saturday classes. That would be nice since I am really sweating this grammar class. I have never in my life prayed to make a C! The good(ish) news is that if I do fail the class, I can just quit my job one month earlier and retake it in July. I guess I can just find a PT job in between?
No wonder it takes people so long to go through this process! Many of the agencies I talked to said you could be licensed in as little as 2 months, which is our goal. They said it took quite a few families a year to get through all of this. That seemed a little far fetched until I realized we do have to come up with a lot of documentation and copies of EVERYTHING we've ever done in our lives!
The next step is a home visit on the 15th from the agency recruiter.
If all goes well we will start the classes on Saturday the 19th and finish on Tuesday the 29th. Lindsey is going to come to as many as she can.
Now I'm wondering how often I can call the D, G & S's caseworker to get their status... I don't want to bother her too much. Maybe I'll just call before we start the classes and ask if she can send me an e-mail or something..... it would be nice if we could put this off until June if D, G & S are adopted by someone else. By the way, I think that would be really cool. Although I might be a little disappointed, I'd probably also be relieved. Most mostly I'd be happy they were out of foster care and finally all together. After all they've been through they deserve that much.
Now I need to talk to my professor.... I will have to miss a night of review as well as the final test. She does have a make up date on the syllabus. I'm going to ask my boss for the entire day off then ask my professor if I can take the test earlier in the day.
Unless of course I can just take the Saturday classes. That would be nice since I am really sweating this grammar class. I have never in my life prayed to make a C! The good(ish) news is that if I do fail the class, I can just quit my job one month earlier and retake it in July. I guess I can just find a PT job in between?
No wonder it takes people so long to go through this process! Many of the agencies I talked to said you could be licensed in as little as 2 months, which is our goal. They said it took quite a few families a year to get through all of this. That seemed a little far fetched until I realized we do have to come up with a lot of documentation and copies of EVERYTHING we've ever done in our lives!
The next step is a home visit on the 15th from the agency recruiter.
If all goes well we will start the classes on Saturday the 19th and finish on Tuesday the 29th. Lindsey is going to come to as many as she can.
Now I'm wondering how often I can call the D, G & S's caseworker to get their status... I don't want to bother her too much. Maybe I'll just call before we start the classes and ask if she can send me an e-mail or something..... it would be nice if we could put this off until June if D, G & S are adopted by someone else. By the way, I think that would be really cool. Although I might be a little disappointed, I'd probably also be relieved. Most mostly I'd be happy they were out of foster care and finally all together. After all they've been through they deserve that much.
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