Legacy

"Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers"
-Proverbs 17:6

My Grandfather, Neil Lugthart, passed away Sunday, April 6th at 3:00AM. My Dad called me around 9AM to let me know. It's funny how you react to stuff like this. Honestly, my response was pretty matter-of-fact. He'd been sick a long time, and although he was usually nice to my sister and I, he wasn't always a nice person. Lindsey and I were talking with Mom about how we felt about Grandpa passing and how Dad feels about it. Both of my parents are children of alcoholics (their fathers). My childhood is a miracle considering the statistics that show children of alcoholics most likely will become alcoholics themselves. So having known our Grandfather as such, it is hard to mourn him as some would expect us to.

On one hand you are relieved that they are out of pain. Alcoholics tend to isolate themselves in the end and are very lonely. So my Grandfather had many health issues and was mostly alone. We tried to get him to move down to the Dallas area but he refused. He had a cat that was his life, and lots of regrets.

My Grandfather assured me on a past visit that he had put his trust in Jesus Christ. He was a member of the LDS Church. We talked about it and I can only count on what he told me. Perhaps I will see him again one day. I would like that second chance.

In the end, I think more than the loss of him, we mourn the lack of relationship we should have had. People have been surprised that we are not more upset. But how do you mourn something you never had? Perhaps we should mourn that we do not mourn.

As Greg and I approach parenthood ourselves, we realize how blessed we are to have such amazing grandparents to offer our children. I am grateful to have had the godly influence of my Mother's mother to show me the love a grandparent has.

If the thought of losing your grandparents brings a tear to your eye, or their memories make you long for them, count yourself lucky.