Wow, I have a blog?

Okay so I am REALLY bad at blogging. I do have three good excuses, but I can't name them on the Internet. However they are 3, 2 and 1 and all require diaper changes :)

The kids have been with us a little over 7 months now. It's hard to believe, it feels like they've always been here.

A few big things that happened since my last (and distant) post:

We put the kids in daycare. It's been about a month now. The oldest, who had made such great strides and improvements, has completely regressed in many ways. One moment he is sweet, the next he is intolerable. I realize that is also part of being a three year old, but he definitely knows how to make our household miserable! He is having trouble sleeping and behaving at daycare as well. Greg and I have discussed my staying home with them again until they leave, his behavior is so off.

I am working as a substitute teacher. That topic requires a whole new blog and we all know how great I would be at that :)

The 2 year old is well on his way to being potty trained. His teachers love him at the daycare. Unfortunately while he is at home, he looks up to his older brother and has begun to mimic many of his less desirable traits. Other than that, he is doing well and is mostly a low maintenance kid :)

The baby is walking, has five teeth and turned one last month. Her parents threw a little party for her at McDonald's. I can't believe how big she is. Because I am a dope (and can't find a decent pediatrician that takes Medicaid), I didn't realize we were supposed to be weening her off formula and her bottle. So, we are trying to do that now. If you've ever seen the show "Sanford and Sons" and can remember how Red Fox looked while he walked, that is what baby girl reminds me of.

After many false alarms, the kids really might go home in 4-6 weeks. CPS is filing an affidavit and then we're just waiting on a court date. Next Saturday begins longer visits, 4 hours the first weekend, 6 the next... progressing to an overnight stay. Having met the parents, we are ecstatic for them and know they are SO ready for their babies to come home. We are inviting them to our church for Halloween so they can see the kids and trick-or-treat with them.

God really has perfect timing. I can see so many reasons I didn't get a teaching job this year. As stressful as life is right now, I can't imagine myself in my first year of teaching and taking care of three kids. I will also be grateful for that when the kids go... we already have plans to drive up to AR to stay with friends for a long weekend after they leave. I will be heart broken and need a change of scenery.

Foster care is so different than I thought it would be. I knew it would be hard, but wasn't prepared for it to be THIS hard. It has taken a toll on our social lives, our marriage, my sister and really made us understand how flawed and selfish we are.

With that said, I think we will do it again, and hope God sends us "our" kids the next time. Greg would like to foster long term but don't know if I can do it.

A few things we will do differently next time:

• Apply for daycare immediately
• Request shot records immediately. They are invaluable!
• Not take on three at once
• Utilize respite (sending the kids to another foster family for a short stay) within the first couple of months. We do this now, one weekend a month, but did not do it for the first 3-4 months and got burnt out fast
• We'll be better prepared for the prejudice, conscious or subconscious that people will have toward our kids - because they are foster kids
• I will not share every sordid detail of my kids misbehavior, even if I do need to vent. This also causes prejudice toward the child, and people will then have low expectations of that child.
• If our kids see a therapist, I will insist from the beginning that we be kept informed on any progress made, or issues discovered. I take the boys every week and have no idea what is said or done.
• Network to find a decent pediatrician that accepts Medicaid.
• We will not use WIC unless we have a baby on formula. Although we have the hang of things now, it is still a huge hassle and we don't need or use all of the food available to us.
• Be more organized with our paperwork.
• Start of the kids "life books" earlier. This include photos and other information that the kids will take with them so that there are no blanks in their lives while in foster care.
• And many, many more.......

So, if anyone still reads this blog, I'll try to do better from now on. Thanks for paying attention!