Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Phone Call from the Social Worker
I am really enjoying my two weeks of Christmas break. In general the worst thing about student teaching is the lack of money.... but it's nice to spend time at home as well.
We kept our niece last night. One major problem we had is that she will NOT go to sleep unless you are with her. You have to lay in bed with her until she falls asleep, and then you can escape to your own bed.
I have a feeling that will just be tip of the iceberg for us when our foster kids arrive.
I hope everyone has a wonderful New Years. I will probably make this blog private in a few weeks - our college professors suggest that things like blogs, facebook and other networking sites be kept out of our students' range :) If you are interested in continuing to read (because obviously you have nothing else to do :), please e-mail me at brandik2002@yahoo.com.
Greg went for a pre-interview test at one of the major local cities. We are hoping he will get called for an interview. He also heard from a major water company today about a possible job but ended up playing phone tag. Please pray that something will pan out for him... and that we would be patient and continue to trust God and HIS timing! He has provided so far!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Happy Birthday Momma-sita!
The closer Greg and I get to becoming parents, the more I realize how much my parents did for me. And yes, I know I have no clue about what being a parent really means. But I get the idea.
Mom, thank you for your patience, love and support.
Happy 36th Birthday! :) I hope I look that good when I'm your age!
Home Study Update .... and D, G & S
I got another e-mail from her today saying she had everything typed up but needed to clarify some things with us and would call us this Sunday at 5 P.M.
Alrighty then!
So much for getting calls by now :)
It's a good thing that God's timing is perfect - or else I'd be really impatient by now!!
I spoke to the great-grandmother of D, G & S. I told her we were still praying about the kids but that our biggest setback was a room for the youngest, a girl. We have planned on buying a bigger home after I get a teaching job. That, or adding onto our home seem to be the only options at this point. We'll see what God has in store. I will not be calling the great-grandmother or CPS about the kids until our home study is complete.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Homestudy #2 Complete - Now for the Wait!
I have been working on the kids room. I found some things called "wall pops" that some of the teachers at my school use. They are like big stickers that stay sticky and peel on and off easily. I got them in dots and squares in green, orange, navy, and a combo of the three. I have been experimenting with them and will post pictures when I'm done. I also got khaki duvet covers and pillow shams for the bunk beds. My "plan" is to make coordinating throw pillows for the beds. We shall see, I am no Martha Stewart! I want the room to be colorful but low budget. That way if it gets torn up I won't be resentful about money spent.
Two more weeks of classes! I will be visiting the High School until December 19Th. I have a couple of projects to work on for this week. I should have done them during the Thanksgiving Break but I am a lazy girl.
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving, I know I did.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Homestudy #2
The house is a total disaster.... and I am not looking forward to cleaning it.
On a brighter note, I presented and turned in my last project before Thanksgiving. OH yes, there are more projects due! However, I got to research and present a topic of my choice so I did "Motivating and Advocating Children in Foster Care". When I told the class I had chosen the topic because we were being licensed for foster care, they applauded. I certainly wasn't expecting that but it was very touching. I had a lot of class discussion and questions afterwards and I think it made an impact. A few things that I discovered in my research:
Most school officials and teachers do not see any differences between low income students and children in foster care
- Children in foster care are more likely to fail a grade
- Children in foster care are more likely to be disciplined
- Children in foster care are less likely to graduate
Scary stuff. Especially when so many of them are "aging out" of the system. BTW, there were around 34,000 children in foster care in 2007.
How many can YOU take?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Homestudy Complete - Sorta :)
Basically she said that as long as the house was in order she had no concerns. Because of the wide age range we have (newborn through 12) she said we would be getting plenty of calls. Oh, and by the way, we can expect to start getting calls somewhere around the middle of December to early January! That is both scary and exciting to us. It's funny because we've been working toward this goal since April and it's really just starting to hit us: we're going to have kids in our house. We're going to be responsible for being their role model, feeding them nutritious meals, screening their television time, disciplining them and most importantly: introducing them to Jesus. I hope we're up for this!
I still haven't talked to D, G&S's great grandmother yet. I feel very conflicted about this whole situation.... Part of me wonders if maybe they weren't adopted by the foster family so that we could adopt them. But then logic takes hold: can we handle THREE KIDS? (Shoot, can we even handle one? Will we have a clue?) Where will the little girl sleep? We only have one bedroom. We would have to transition them into a new town, new schools, new church, new doctors, new therapists. Oh yeah, and new parents! My heart just aches for these three, and their great grandmother, who is constantly praying for these precious children to find a good Christian home to grow up in.
Greg and I want to be in God's will. Now we just have to listen to Him and find out what He wants us to do.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
2 Days Till the Homestudy! And updates on D,G&S
I got a card from the great-grandmother of D,G&S. She says she talked to the CPS agent and the kids are still available for adoption. I don't know if this is good news or not.... my guess is that the foster parents who had the two younger kids decided they couldn't take on all three.
Unfortunately, I don't know if we can either.
I need to call the great-grandmother but I dread it. She is such a sweet lady and I know she is so heart broken about these kids. Please pray for her. In her note she said she'd asked CPS if she could see the kids, and of course their answer was "no". I would really like to know why the foster family decided against adopting all of the kids. There could be a lot of reasons, like behavior problems, personal problems, personality differences with other kids in the house, etc.
Either way, all I can concentrate on right now is getting our stuff done. Did I mention my house is a wreck? :)
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Homestudy - Change of Plans
No pressure! This gal will be watching NO TV, dragging her husband away from the TV, and staying very busy for the next two weeks!
**Blessing**Just as I was wondering how we were going to pay for extra stuff for the house to get ready for the homestudy, I got a check in the mail from my Aunt. It was perfect timing and couldn't be needed more right now. Thank you Lord for the faithful who allow themselves to be used by you! What an incredible, humbling and encouraging experience. Thank you Auntie!
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Homestudy Scheduled
No big deal, I only have a mid-term, one major project and my content exit exam before then :)
Holy Smokes....
Our caseworker seems nice (as far as I can tell through e-mail). I just hope we can get the house ready before then!
I think we are bending toward getting the kids now. Again, the argument is: why would getting kids during my Residency (when I am still under the help and supervision of a mentor teacher) be any more difficult than my first year of teaching (on my own and from what I hear, very stressful)?
Or, if we're going for a "stress-free" time to adopt, we could just wait until AFTER my first year of teaching... no big deal, just another year and a half of waiting, right?
I don't think so! Keep in mind that it wouldn't just be us waiting, but our kids sitting in foster care, waiting for us.
Greg is getting older (he says so himself) and will be 40 before we know it. We are both ready and want kids. Having and raising them is stressful no matter when, so why not do it now?
However accepting any placements will not happen until Greg has a full-time job.
Did anyone watch 20/20 last night? There was a very disturbing story about a family who was in the process of adopting a little boy from foster care when he died of salt poisoning. The Mom was convicted of capital murder and given a life sentence. You can read more here. There is also a link on the website to the 20/20 special. Please pray for this Texas family, especially for the Dad who is home with their remaining five children.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
It's Home Study Time!
Wrong!
I got a call from a nice lady named Becky who informed me of a few things we were missing from our file and our car insurance form had expired. I e-mailed everything to her, and she wrote back that our status was now "home study ready". So we could get a call at any time.
I really thought we wouldn't have to worry about a home study until late November or December. Don't ask me why....
Now I'm freaking out because we have a ton of things to do before our house is ready to be inspected. We need to child proof the place, replace a door, finish our molding in the living room, take down the ceiling fan in the kids' room and put up a new light fixture, get bedding, put locks on tons of doors and a few million other things that I can't think of right now.
Oh yeah, and I have tests and other school work to worry about as well :)
Greg is still looking for a job. The pool business is almost officially dead so he is ramping up for a serious job hunt. Please pray for him in this area. It would be really great if he found something before the home study.
But God is good, and He provides. And when it's all said and done, we are ready to be "Mom and Dad"!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Paperwork Completed and Turned In
So maybe we'll have a home study in November and total approval in December or January. We are still debating on whether to accept placements while I am doing my student teaching. Honestly though, I can't imagine my residency will be any more difficult than my first year of teaching, so why put it off?
Now we need to prepare for the home study. We have a lot to get done on the house.
I was substitute teaching in a local elementary school when I came in contact with a 2nd grader there who is a foster child. He was very sweet to all of the special ed kids I was taking care of. However within 10 minutes the principal "set him off" and he threw a trash can at the principal. I have a feeling our life is going to be very interesting once we have a placement!
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Paperwork, Blessings and Life
Student teaching is a BLAST. I am also sub-ing when I don't have a ton of homework, which has been interesting. Tomorrow and Tuesday I will work as a sub for my mentor teacher. Woohoo!
(Prayer Request) Since I quit my job August 15th things have gotten interesting. Two weeks ago, my A/C went out. Our mechanic is fabulous and loaned me his truck. We are expecting a call this coming week about the cost....
(Blessing).... I mentioned Greg quit his job on the same day I did. His Dad runs a pool business and Greg has been working with "Papaw". Between this and working part-time as a valet, we have not touched our savings (except $120 I needed to pay to take a stinking test!).
(Prayer Request) The pool business, while it has been so good to us, is starting to die off for the season. Greg is beginning a job search in earnest.
(Blessing) So our fridge went out. Not the freezer, just the fridge part. Lindsey's friend does fridge repair and suggested we defrost the whole thing. And it worked! Yeah, baby! We mentioned the fridge issue at church and a couple called, saying their daughter had a really nice fridge she was selling for $200. We decided not to buy it since ours was working again, and just hope for the best. They called us back the next day and said their daughter felt led to GIVE US THE FRIDGE. We are working out a time to pick it up. It is a side-by-side that has a water and ice cube dispenser in front. Funny story: I am really thrilled about the water/cube feature because as a child I always thought only really "rich people" had fridges like that. Ha, ha.
(Blessing) My sub paperwork for the school district I teach for came in ONE day before my mentor had to put in for a sub for Monday and Tuesday. I literally got an e-mail Friday afternoon, just in the nick of time. This was really nice since I'd been waiting for that e-mail for about a month. Now I will get paid for two days, when I would have to be there anyway for free.
God is really, REALLY good. He always provides.
Now for more news:
WE ARE FINISHED WITH OUR PAPERWORK!
We just need to print out our applications and take everything to the agency. I am planning on doing that this week.
We are going to talk to our agency about going ahead with the home study but not accepting placements until the first of next year. We don't even see each other.... I'm not sure how we would take care of a child. This is disappointing to us, but we have to think about what is best for the kids we would bring into our home. It's not about US, right? :)
I'm just ready to meet my kids. And I know they need me too....
Monday, August 18, 2008
No Fun Being the Newbie
I consider myself to be pretty friendly.... but it was so hard today. I think part of the reason was a splitting headache (people with bad allergies should NOT spray paint dressers - especially when the end result looks bad anyway! :). I also think I felt a little awkward.... I'm used to walking into the same job for 7 years... and the job before that another 7 years. I am a creature of habit. I surround myself with people I know and who know me. But this will change... and become more comfortable. Tomorrow I'm heading back to the school to help decorate and organize the classroom. I'm praying that I will worry less about fitting in and just absorb this experience like a sponge and become the best student teacher I can.
My mentor teacher is having a desk put into her class for me and I will have a room key and a faculty parking sticker. I know that may sound silly to some, what's the big deal, right? But I have been going to school a LONG time (I may have already mentioned that :) to be a teacher. So it feels like I am finally getting a teensy-weensy slice of the pie (And I LOVE pie!).
The principal of my school made several references to his church and faith. I would work there just to work with him. He seems very genuine and all of the teachers like him.
I'm still cleaning out the kids' room.... how did we accumulate this much junk in only 3 years?! Our bedroom is getting pretty crowded. I'm hoping this weekend we can get Greg's application finished, print off photos of the house and take it to the agency. Please continue to pray for us as we seek God's will in our schedules. On a brighter note I have a friend who is giving us a crib, stroller, car seat and base. And probably more stuff. We want to have anything we might need on hand for a newborn to 12 year old, but it is impossible to buy everything. God is blessing us through friends with many items that we won't have to buy ourselves.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Three Years Ago Today
Friday, July 25, 2008
For Richer, For Poorer...
Good news and updates: Greg did his physical! YES! And we are on page 17 of 23 of his application. Now I just have to gather the new items CPS is requesting and we're done.
VBS starts Sunday. I am teaching and looking forward to it.
It's also worth noting that our dear friends Royce and Dawn welcomed their third child into the world on Monday, Kenzie Michelle. We are taking them dinner tonight so I'll try to get pictures. She is completely beautiful of course.
Happy Friday!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
New Stuff Needed, and More Drama
Documentation of Education
Documentation of Verifiable Income
Photograph of all sides of your home
Last 10yrs of residence
Interesting. Of course I wrote our agency back asking exactly what forms or copies she wanted for "documentation of education".... and does a pay stub equal verifiable income? Just make a list of our residences in the last 10 years?
I'm sure I'm making things more complicated than they really are. But geesh, photographs of ALL sides of our house? Just curious, WHY? Do they need just one set of photographs?
But we'll do it.
As far as drama, Greg is looking for a new job. And I am giving notice here this Friday. So we may both be unemployed soon and ineligible for foster care anyway!
Of course this is all in God's hands. We are willing to do whatever He wants, and know He will provide.
Oh, and the good news is that Greg's application has been located. Whew! So we will finish that up and he will go to the Dr. under threat of bodily harm from me!!
On a lighter note, we got to keep our great-niece this weekend. She was a hoot. I can see why people don't want to take on sibling groups, one is definitely easier. I think that 2 is definitely a max for us until I'm done student teaching. One was hard enough... she snuck into the office, found a permanent marker I'd left on the desk ( I know, DUH!), and marked her face. Luckily I caught her just in time and managed to SCRUB it off. Her next escapade included "brushing" her hair with my round brush and getting it stuck. I know this sounds terrible but I did get pictures of her with the hairbrush. She is looking at me like, "Aunt Brandi, WHAT are you DOING?".
Good times.
When she left the house was really quiet. Whenever the Lord wants to send those kids, I think we're ready :)
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Rio Bend
The houses are about 4600 sq. ft. and have about 7-8 rooms. Each room is large and holds 2 children. Each child has their own bed, dresser, and each room has it's own bathroom. The community also has it's own chapel, swimming pool, workout center and more.
The community is located in Richmond, TX, about 4 hours from the DFW community and is called Rio Bend. You can check out their website here.
The Delay's have been foster parents to three foster children. Mrs. Delay has also worked as a CASA volunteer in the past.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Same 'Ole Same Here
In the meanwhile, we set up the bunk beds, managed to break the zipper on the futon mattress and my fabulous mother-in-law repaired it. Seeing those beds in the office is so eerie. It makes me believe that we may actually have kids in there one day! My next move is to clean out my closet, move Greg and I into one dresser (pray for us, please! hehe!) and move our office furniture into our bedroom.
I think we have narrowed our age range from newborn to 12. Actually we said 6 months to 12 years.... but if a new baby comes, so be it :) With those age limitations we are open to any race or gender. We are going to limit ourselves to sibling groups of two. I would love to do more, but I don't want to push things with student teaching and school. In a perfect world we would get one older child and their toddler sibling. While we are definitely burdened for older kids, we would love to have at least one "baby" (2 or younger).
I am also preparing to give notice at work NEXT FRIDAY. I am a nervous wreck. I've had a job since I was 14.... and I really don't like being broke. It's funny because the A/C on my car is going out ($300?) and Greg needs some kind of valves on his truck ($1000?). I told him either God is helping us out BEFORE I'm unemployed or Satan really doesn't want me in the classroom and is trying to scare us - Or maybe I am giving my teaching skills too much credit there :)
Last but not least, Greg is considering a job change. This is scary mostly because of health insurance... neither of us will have any for awhile. I'm praying that his new job has instant or quick benefits. And that he will enjoy what he does.
Father, I know that You are in charge and know exactly what we need. Forgive me for my lack of faith!
"O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you" - Psalm 84:12
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Updates
Other big news is that I have my student teaching assignment. It's in a great school district in a new school. Several kids from our church go there and I'm already teasing them about "see you at lunch" :) I thought they were going to have a heart attack!
If all goes well my last day of work will be August 15Th. I am applying to school districts throughout the metroplex for substitute positions.
Happy Wednesday!
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Happy Father's Day
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Famous Adoptees, Adopters, and Birth Parents
Adopted Persons:
Andy Berlin - entrepreneur: chairman of Berlin Cameron & Partners
Anthony Williams - politician
Aristotle - philosopher
Art Linkletter - comedian
Bo Diddley - musician, performer
Buffy Sainte-Marie - musician, actress
Carl-Theodor Dreyer - Danish film director
Charlotte Anne Lopez - Miss Teen USA
Christina Crawford - author
Clarissa Pinkola Estes - author
Crazy Horse - Lakota war chief
Dan O'Brien - decathlete
Daunte Culpepper - football player
Dave Thomas - entrepreneur: founder of Wendy's
Debbie Harry - singer
D.M.C. - hip hop artist
Edgar Allan Poe - poet, writer
Edward Albee - playwright
Eleanor Roosevelt - First Lady
Eric Dickerson - athlete
Faith Daniels - news anchor
Faith Hill - country singer
Freddie Bartholomew - actor
George Washington Carver - inventor
Greg Louganis - athlete
James MacArthur - actor
James Michener - author
Jean Jacques Rousseau - philosopher
Jesse Jackson - minister
Jesus - adopted by Joseph the carpenter (Bible)
Jett Williams - country singer and author
Jim Palmer - athlete
John J. Audubon - naturalist
John Hancock - politician
John Lennon - musician
Langston Hughes - poet and writer
Larry Ellison - entrepreneur: chief executive of Oracle
Lee Majors - actor
Leo Tolstoy - writer
Les Brown - motivational speaker
Lynnette Cole - Miss USA 2000
Malcolm X - civil rights leader
Mark Acre - athlete
Matthew Laborteaux - actor
Melissa Gilbert - actress
Michael Reagan - author, talk show host
Moses - Biblical leader
Nancy Reagan - First Lady
Nat King Cole - singer
Nelson Mandela - politician
Patrick Labyorteaux - actor
Peter and Kitty Carruthers - figure skaters
President Gerald Ford - politician
President William Clinton - politician
Priscilla Presley - actress
Ray Liotta - actor
Reno - performance artist, comedian
Sarah McLachlan - singer
Scott Hamilton - figure skater
Sen. Paull H. Shin - politician
Sen. Robert Byrd - politician
Steve Jobs - entrepreneur: co-founder of Apple computer
Surya Bonaly - figure skater
Tim Green - football player/commentator
Tim McGraw - country singer
Tom Monaghan - entrepreneur
Tommy Davidson - comedian
Victoria Rowell - actress
Wilson Riles - educator
Birth Parents:
Andy Kaufman - actor
Clark Gable - actor
David Crosby - singer
Faith Ireland - judge
Hank Williams, Sr. - country music legend
Kate Mulgrew - actress
Joni Mitchell - singer
Roseanne Barr - actress
Mercedes Ruehl - actress
Strom Thurmond - politician
Adoptive Parents:
Al Roker - news anchor
Alfre Woodard - actress
Alexander the Great - King of Macedonia, 356-323 B.C.
Angelina Jolie - actress
Art Buchwald - comedian
Barbara Walters - journalist
Ben Stein - actor and game show host
Bette Davis - actress
Billy Bob Thornton - actor, writer, singer
Bob (and Delores) Hope - entertainer
Brooke Adams - actress
Burt Reynolds - actor
Calista Flockhart - actress
Cecil B. De Mille - film director
Charles Bronson - actor
Chelsea Noble - actress
Connie Chung - news anchor
Dale Evans - singer
Dan Marino - athlete
Dan Wilson - athlete
David E. Kelley - television producer
Diane Keaton - actress
Dianne Wiest - actress
Donna Mills - actress
Ed McMahon - entertainer
Edie Falco - actress
Erma Bombeck - author
Estelle Parsons - actress
Eve Arden - actress
Father George Clements - minister
Gail Sheehy - writer
Gary Merrill - actor
George Burns - comedian
George Lucas - film director
Gloria Swanson - actress
Gracie Allen - comedian
Harpo Marx - actor
Harry Belafonte - singer
Hedy Lamarr - actress
Helen Hayes - actress
Henry Fonda - actor
Hugh Jackman - actor
Isabella Rossellini - -actress
Jamie Lee Curtis - actress
Jane Fonda - actress
Jane Wyman - actress
Jann Wenner - publisher
Jill Ireland - actress
Jill Krementz - author
JoBeth Williams - actress
Joan Didion - author
Joan Fontaine - actress
John DeLorean - entrepreneur
John Denver - singer
John Gregory Dunne - author
Josephine Baker - singer and dancer
Judy Woodruff - news anchor
Julie Andrews - actress
Karen Grassle - actress
Karl Wallenda - acrobat
Kate Capshaw - actress
Kate Jackson - actress
Kirby Puckett - athlete
Kirk Cameron - actor
Kirstie Alley - actress
Kris Kristofferson - singer
Kurt Vonnegut - author
Linda Ronstadt - singer
Loni Anderson - actress
Louis Gossett, Jr - actor.
Magic Johnson - athlete
Marcia Wallace - actress
Marie Osmond - singer
Maury Povich - news anchor
Meg Ryan - actress
Mercedes Ruehl - actress
Mia Farrow - actress
Michelle Pfeiffer - actress
Natalie Williams - athlete
Nell Carter - entertainer
Nicole Kidman - actress
Oscar de la Renta - designer
Ozzy (and Sharon) Osbourne - musician
Parker Stevenson - actor
Patti LaBelle - singer
Paul Newman - actor
Paula Poundstone - comedian
Pearl Bailey - singer
Peter Falk - actor
President Ronald Reagan - politician
Regina Belle - singer
Richard King Mellon - financier
Robert Fulghum - writer
Rosie O'Donnell - actress
Roy Rogers - entertainer
Sally Jessy Raphaël - talk show host
Sammy Davis, Jr. - entertainer
Sen. Jesse Helms - politician
Sen. John McCain - politician
Sen. Lloyd Bentsen - politician
Sen. Paul Simon - politician
Sen. Paull H. Shin - politician
Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchinson - Texas
Sharon Stone - actress
Sir Christopher Guest - actor
Stephen Spielberg - film director
Steven Curtis Chapman - Christian musician
Susan Ruttan - actress
Taurean Blacque - actor
Ted Danson - actor
Teri Garr - actress
Tom Cruise - actor
Valerie Harper - actress
Walt (and Lily) Disney - founder of Disneyland
William Delahunt - politician
Willie Mays - athlete
Dessert AND a Good Cause
Monday, June 2, 2008
Supervised Childcare Requirement - Check!
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Grandma Jacobs
I will always remember lying by the pool of the hotel
Splashing in the water every summer
You always came
We loved you with your soft hugs,
Your raspy voice that called our Dad "Denny"
Holidays found us apart but you always remembered
Christmas and birthdays were never overlooked
And even through the distance we loved you
Later we would wait by the window in anticipation of the roar
The roar of your motorcycle coming down our street
We were so proud of our Motorcycle Grandma
and bragged about you to our friends
We loved with you with your kisses,
Your turquoise jewelry and your leopard prints
and even when you had to go
we loved you through the distance
Then you sent for us on an airplane
and that time we came to you
You made everything exciting and new
In many ways you were so strong
through heartache, loss
Strong but also fragile
you held on so many times
and always there was the distance
I can see you now
happy and content with the Lover of your soul
You have a healthy heart and clear mind
One day we will join you there
Through the promise of the Son
Until then we will remember
We know you had to go
and we will love you always, even through the distance
Update on D, G & S
I talked to the CPS supervisor yesterday about the kids. The foster Mom who has the two younger children is considering adopting all 3. Evidently the oldest will come live with them this summer after school is out. The two younger kids are very attached to their foster Mom so this is great news for them.
I'll remind you that the foster parents have first choice once the parental rights are severed. This is why Greg and I are being licensed to foster-to-adopt. I asked the CPS Supervisor if I could check in with her again once we are licensed to find out what the foster Mom had decided and she said that was fine.
Please pray for this family and specifically for the oldest boy. If it's God's will that the kids be reunited within this family, I hope it is a smooth transition for them.
We have been praying for these kids - their picture is on our fridge. We want God's best for them, and if that is with another family we know that God has another child/children planned for us.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Happy Birthday Sweetheart
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Updates....
We have a few more things to take care of:
Greg's fingerprint results
Greg needs a physical
We have to finish filling out our 23 page, long answer applications.
Do 5 hours of supervised childcare - we're still waiting on a list of families
Turn everything in.
Once everything is done, we'll be scheduled for a homestudy.
Once the homestudy is complete, the social worker needs time to write it up. Evidently it is 20+ pages about US. Boring, I know. Once our agency approves the homestudy it goes to CPS for approval.
In the meanwhile, we're still finishing stuff around the house and trying to get a room ready for the "kids".
_________________________________________
Another cool thing that happened...
One of the hardest things in preparing for the adoption has been giving up my office. In many ways it has been a sanctuary. When I study I need SILENCE. So I've been worried about moving our computer out into the kitchen (common family area).
Well my In-Laws bought me a laptop.
Yep.
How cool is that? How cool are they? I'm going to have to post a more flattering picture of them on the blog now :)
We are going to look into getting wireless internet so I can study and write anywhere I want in the house.
Thank you Mimi and Papaw!
Friday, May 16, 2008
Grades are In
No summer school.
God is so good.
And yes, I am up at 6:40 AM checking my grades.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
D, G & S.....
Either way I'd just like to know their status.... and I want to see if she'll tell me what level of foster care they are in... after all she told me to call as often as I liked :) Silly woman!
Wish me luck!
Blessings and Energy
Does anyone know if futons need twin or full sized bedding?
We kept our two great-neices this past weekend. It was fun AND extremely exhausting. It was a real eye opener to both Greg and I that we need to start getting in shape NOW. Oh, and I also now know that you should feed your kids before you put their church clothes on them! Geesh. We took the girls for pancakes Sunday morning and I thought I was going to have a heart attack watching 3 year old Astrid and 1 year old Ryah drop food on their new dresses :) I know, I know - eventually I'll get over stuff like that - but hey, that's my hard earned money! We took them to a place where we eat breakfast a lot... the girls behind the counter said, "Wow, we've never seen you bring your kids with you before". It was a little disturbing... where did they think we'd kept our kids?... but also very cool :)
I love it!
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
National Foster Care Prayer Vigil
Focus on the Family, Family Life & Shaohannah's Hope are organizing a Prayer Vigil for Foster children. For anyone who is interested:
There are only two locations in Texas: Tyler and Irving.
The Irving vigil takes place on May 23rd, 6-8 pm at:
Irving Bible Church
2435 Kinwest Parkway
Irving, TX
Room West C&D
For directions go here.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Happy Mother's Day!
(Revised to add: I forgot to post this after I wrote it, sorry it's late.)
Happy Mother's Day to all Mothers and soon to be Moms out there! Isn't my Momma a cutie? And yes, there is a strong family resemblance :)
Only in the last few years have I begun to understand the sacrifices my Mother made, and how she has contributed to the person I am. Because of my Mom, I grew up grounded in the knowledge of Jesus Christ and know Him as my personal Savior. Because of my Mom, I am careful with money. Because of my Mom, it never occured to me that I wouldn't go to college. Because of my Mom, I understand humility (although I struggle to live in it). Because of my Mom, l love to read. Because of my Mom, I can make spaghetti. Had it been up to my Mom, I would know how to cook something other than spaghetti - not for her lack of trying! I could go on and on.
Thank you, Mom, for putting up with me: my ingratitude, smart mouth, harsh words, selfish nature, know-it-all & bossy personality. Thank you for the hugs and kisses, support and for always believing that I could accomplish anything. Thank you for listening to me sing and sing and sing for hours until you thought your ears would bleed. Thank you for watching me cheer through football games when I know you would have loved to be anywhere else.
Thank you for encouraging Greg and I through the adoption process. Thank you for being excited about your future Grandkids.
You've been an wonderful Mother - I know you'll be an incredible Grandmother.
Love,
Brandi
Friday, May 9, 2008
The Outman Family and David Need Just $1 From Each of Us
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
It is a bug bite? Is the chicken pox? No it's....
You probably won't either and I don't blame you.... oh well, you can't blame a girl for trying!
We are getting free bunkbeds from a friend of Lindsey's. They are the metal type that is twin on top and full size on the bottom. Now we just need a twin bed, 3 mattresses, bedding, and a dresser and we'll be set on kids furniture. We also need to replace a window blind my dog Annie (no longer with us) tore up and a light fixture on the ceiling fan that has always been broken. I've decided not to paint the room until we know for certain who will be staying in it. Then they can choose a color they want. I started to clean out the office (soon to be the kids' room) closet and boy do I have my work cut out for me. I asked Greg to get some of his larger stuff out of that closet and into his. When he tried to put it off, I told him, "the kids don't want YOUR crap in THEIR closet". He thought that was pretty funny. I will try to post some before and after pictures.
I picked up some board games and a few younger kid puzzles, along with a baseball and brand new baseball gloves at our church yardsale. They are so cute sitting on the closet shelf.
I am going to get fingerprinted tonight after work. Greg has an appointment for next week. We both have to go to the Dr. to get "Physician Statements" signed. Greg's going Friday, I'm going next Monday. Our to-do list is getting shorter and shorter.
A friend pointed out to me that my blog states many negative things about CPS. I agree and want to clarify this a little if I can. First, people who work for CPS do not do it for the money. I believe with all my heart that the caseworkers do love kids and want to help. However, with 100 + kids on their caseload (which should ideally be around 25), burn out is high and many begin to make desperate yet unethical decisions. In the case of many CPS workers, they are eventually up against a wall, too many kids, not enough time. Either way, CPS does end up with a bad reputation.
I do not believe that CPS is evil. I believe that many caseworkers are highly educated and in the end want the best for the kids in their care. They have rules and guidelines that I respect.
On a lighter note, I tried to convince Greg the other day that I was due a Mother's Day gift this weekend. After all, technically my kids are already out there somewhere... just not with me yet... right? Don't worry, he didn't fall for it!
Monday, May 5, 2008
Foster Care Motivations
And so I've been asked, "What changed your mind"?
The answer is simple: God.
You see, we are not going through all of this to impress anyone. We are not doing this because we care if people think we are capable of doing it - although many good friends have strongly encouraged us on this journey. We are doing this because God has spoken to both Greg and I, and He's telling us that our kids are in the Texas State Foster Program - and that we need to get them out.
Foster-to-adopt is the best option for people who are looking to adopt foster kids. The statistics show that clearly. So we are preparing to tackle that obstacle until we find our kids. And it's important to point out that we are fostering in order to adopt. Fostering is not our main goal. We are building a group of trusted mentors to call up on for advice and preparation. Trust me when I say that we have not ventured into this journey without much prayer and deliberation. Or because someone else thought of it so now we suddenly want to do it.
The truth is that sometimes God leads us where we never thought we'd go. I have met many missionaries, most of whom would tell you they never dreamed of being in the ministry, not to mention living overseas. But once they did, they can never imagine their lives differently. We have met families who've adopted through the state. They tell us to hang in for a rough first year. Then prepare to fall in love and never be able to imagine your life without that child/children.
Following God's will is very serious business. When someone uses the phrase, "I felt/feel God leading", I always pause. Those words carry a heavy meaning, and one I am not willing to question. Only in the face of godly and respected counsel would I question what I believe to be God's will or calling.
In 2004 I spent a few weeks in Cambodia. They were some of the most amazing, life changing weeks I have ever experienced. Just before I left I had been "dating" someone who was completely inappropriate for me. That man stopped talking to me a few weeks before I left. I felt hurt, but I tried to moved on. One night in Cambodia I went to a worship service where many of us lead worship and one of the seminary students with us preached through an interpreter. The student was an accomplished speaker. He was a great guy who loved the Lord. While I listened to his sermon, I could hear a thought whispering through my mind. It was almost audible. It was saying, "Brandi, don't you want to hold out for My best? Don't you trust Me to provide you with your perfect mate? Listen to this guy, wouldn't it be nice if you could find a good Christian man who loves Me like you do? Please, trust Me and hold out for My best". I stopped worrying about that guy I was dating after that. I gave God my love life that night and four weeks after I came home from Cambodia I met Greg.
I tell you this story to make this point: I have never heard God's literal voice. But I have felt Him speak directly to my heart and trust me, it's something you can't ignore. And so I know now, as I have for many years, that God wants us to adopt. He is promising Greg and I that if we are faithful and trust Him, we're going to find our kids right where He leads us.
Is it going to be all fun? No. Are we going to be June and Ward Cleaver with our perfect kids and perfect parenting skills? No. Can we completely comprehend what we are getting ourselves into? Definitely not! But, we have the Creator of the universe in our corner.
My money is on us.
"What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?"
Romans 8:31
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Classes are FINISHED and Papers are Written
It also looks like I am TB free so far. Always a good thing.
The CPR course included a first-aid "class". By the way, don't put butter on burns. Oh yes, I am so wise and full of information now, you'll all be calling me for my invaluable help with all your kids. Not! However I did learn that making a paste from baking soda and water will take the burn out of an insect bite. So will chewed tobacco, according to our instructor :)
My papers are written. I worked on one until 1 AM and woke up again at 6 AM to continue. I will confess: I finished it this afternoon at work. I know! I'm bad!
But I'm so glad to be done I don't care! I will turn them in at 5:30 and 7:00 then go home and do nothing.
It was really stressful but I'm glad we got all the classes done this month.
Of course now this frees up my schedule to get the house home study ready as well as a million other things.
If anyone loves yard sales we are having one at our church this Saturday. All proceeds go to missionaries. It's Sublett Road Baptist, in Arlington at the corner of Kelly Elliott and Sublett. If you can't find it let me know. I think our youth are also doing a car wash.
I'm also trying to brainstorm ideas for making new foster kids feel more comfortable and at home with us. One family gave me the idea of framing a photo of each kid on the wall as soon as you can. We also have some ladies at our church that can embroider names on fabric and I was thinking maybe personalized pillows would be cool, that the kids can take with them. A foster family that I worshipped with in Weatherford made garden stones with each child's hand print in them with their name. You can get kits at Michaels. I definitely think that is an awesome idea. And maybe signs for the bedroom door with their name on it. What else? I'm willing to try just about anything to help make the transition smoother for these kids.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Just One More To Go....and My Exam is OVER-sorta...
Tonights class was a "management" class to teach us how to keep our cool when our kids make us crazy :) We got into groups, read scenarios and answered as a group how we would respond. It was interesting, especially with Joyce, the foster recruiter I referred to above, supplementing each scenario with a crazy story from her own experiences. Very enlightening AND amusing.
I took my grammar exam today... as usual I studied most on stuff that was not on the test. I honestly have no idea how I did. Fortunately this teacher gives partial credit or I'd have dropped this class long ago. Now I have a take-home essay to complete.
Tommorrow night is our last night of class... CPR certification and a TB test (wish me luck:)
Sunday, April 27, 2008
PRIDE #4 is History!
An estimated 80% of children in foster care have been sexually abused. I am still trying to wrap my mind around that unspeakable horror.
As I have said in past posts, we have met many amazing people so far along the journey. Another couple, Martin and Holly, have been in all our PRIDE classes so far. They are a young couple who've been married one year longer than us. Yesterday Holly and Martin pulled Greg and I aside and wanted to share a dream Holly had about us. I know many people scoff at the importance/significance of dreams but I can show you many times God used dreams or visions to make Himself heard in the Bible. Anyway, in Holly's dream Greg was jumping up and down like a kid (nothing new there) and I was sitting calmly at a table concentrating on something. She said when she woke up she began to ask God to reveal any importance from this dream to her. Holly said that she began to feel that she was supposed to share with us that we are matched perfectly and that our personalities and parenting styles would compliment each other. I was very impressed that she would share and really felt like it was more confirmation from the Holy Spirit. Since we have been so stressed lately it was very encouraging to hear the Lord speaking to us through someone.
I took Friday off with no trouble, my Boss never mentioned it again. I finished a research paper. If anyone wants to proof read it for me let me know! Today and most of tomorrow I will finish studying for my grammar test. If you guys could pray for me at 3 PM I would really appreciate and covet those prayers!
I am beginning to think that the stress of "becoming" a parent pales in comparison of grammar exams.... :)
OH! We found out another cool piece of info: caucasian children 6 and older, Minority children 2 and older, and Special Needs children are eligible to receive monthly support, continued Medicaid coverage AND free college tuition through a Texas state college AFTER their adoption is finalized. This is supposed to be an incentive to help adopt out hard age groups. Although my first instinct was that we shouldn't "sponge" off the system... I began to realize that any money we might receive could help supplement our income while I was in school, and anything else could be saved for the kids' college needs: books, dorms, etc. Or help pay for private school if I decide to keep working. Not to mention that Medicaid would cover expensive essentials like braces... either way, we're paying for it out of our tax dollars. If the state is going to give this money away, we are going to accept it to help our kids get a top notch education.
I'm going to study now. I'm glad this will all be over Wednesday. I'm already beginning to slip into "I don't care" mode!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
3 Down....3 To Go!
We learned some moves to protect ourselves in the case that a child attacks us physically. I got really good at practicing my chokehold on Greg :) We met a family that fosters full-time and has 12 boys in their home. They assured us that being attacked physically is common. That was just what I wanted to hear - NOT! :) Oh well. They have been fostering for 5 years and have used other agencies. They said this one is the best so far, which assured us more than ever that we are in the right place.We are coming into contact with so many courageous, selfless and amazing people on this journey.
We had a lot of fun in the PMAB class... we haven't done a lot on our own lately so coming to these classes has been a chance to just hang out together. It was funny because on our way there last night I asked Greg if he had noticed that there is never any prayer at any of the classes. Even when they fed us Saturday lunch, no one gathered us together for prayer. Well at the end of our class last night our teacher closed us out in prayer. Now that's what I'm talking about!
I would like to apologize for all the "Venting" I've been doing... however I'm just trying to be honest. I guess I can't hide the fact that deep down, I'm a crybaby :) I'm hoping other people interested in fostering to adopt will find this blog and get a realistic idea of what the process is like. I would also like people to read through the lines... and see that even though I am constantly freaking out, the end results show that God was always in control.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Another Class Down
Going to this class was interesting... Greg and I ended up having a meltdown Sunday evening. We were trying to look at our finances AFTER I quit my job and it was not pretty. Then Greg was looking at his sales for this month, which are not pretty after missing so many appointments for these classes and being sick. We ended up fighting and really not speaking until Monday afternoon. A few other things happened to escalate things but this is the short version. It was a little ironic actually because I had been talking to my adoption hero friend Rachel about keeping your marriage together during adoption Sunday afternoon at lunch. Satan must've been hanging out at Cici's that day :)
Anyway, I woke up that morning deciding that we needed to put these classes off until June (the next time they're offered). Obviously my marriage is more important and must come first. It was a VERY bad morning. As I was packing my lunch before work I came across a picture of D, G & S on the fridge which caused a small breakdown. I had another small breakdown (and blessing) when my adoption hero friend Rachel wrote me that her 5 year old Liberian boy is praying for my kids to come home. How sweet is that? However, as you can tell by the title of this blog, the adoption training goes on! I decided to call Greg before I contacted the agency. When he called we made up and I asked him if he wanted to put off the classes and he said no. I love my husband!
So all was well until I emailed my teacher asking if I could drop off a digital recorder for her to record class last night. Ordinarily I wouldn't ask but we were reviewing for our final test. She said no. Then I started freaking out again. Talk about faith of a mustard seed, sometimes I wonder just how small my faith is.
I talked to Greg at 4:30 and he was in downtown Dallas on his way to an appointment. Our class started at 6. Another breakdown :) So I get home around 5 and start praying, "Lord, PLEASE tell me I didn't miss my final review for nothing....". Not even 5 minutes later Greg calls and says he is on his way home. Evidently the customer couldn't pass the credit check. Now I'm saying God gave these people bad credit, but hey it did work to my advantage :)
I do have another prayer request (always some drama in my life lately). I gave my boss a list of dates I wanted off a month ago. They include this Friday and next Monday so that I can catch up on studying for my test Monday. Plus I need to take my test early in the day Monday since I have another adoption class that evening. My boss called me into his office today and wanted to know why I wanted each day off. I told him about this Friday and Monday and he questioned why I needed all of Friday to study. I assured him it was necessary. At that point I wasn't amused so I told him I didn't remember why I wanted the rest of the dates off. He told me to come back when I did. Thank goodness I had to leave for lunch then or I might be sending you this message from the unemployment line :) I guess my question is: Does he have a right to ask me WHAT my vacation is for? I have never had to state a reason for asking for vacation time at any other company, I just requested the time off. If they could give it to me, great, if not, I'd deal with it. Now a leave of absence or sick time, sure, they deserve an explanation. But should I have to JUSTIFY asking for vacation days? Oh, and I was just asking for single days off, not a week at a time. So let me know if I am wrong on this or not. I don't know what I'm going to do if he tells me no for Friday. For the sake of my sanity I am counting on having that time to study. I really need to pass this test or I'll be in summer school all of July.
Hmm... better bust out with my new favorite verse:
"O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trusts in you" -Psalm 84:12
Saturday, April 19, 2008
So Tired...
More than ever I am concerned that we may not have the full story on D, G & S. We heard more stories of CPS misleading people about kids' histories and behaviors. However, I didn't realize that most CPS caseworkers in Texas have over 100 kids on their caseload. No wonder the burnout rate is so high... it's already an emotionally crippling job without more work than 3 people could handle.
As we are licensed we will stay open to all options in case precious D, G & S don't work out or are adopted by someone else. Greg and I will be praying about how to fill out our paper work in these next two weeks. At this point if we foster-to-adopt it will have to be school aged children so that I can finish school and student teach. We do know that we are not concerned about gender or ethnicity.
We also heard an incredible story of a family that adopted a 17 year old. I glanced back at him to find him watching me and we were both crying. There are so many ways God can use us in this journey and we can't wait to find out how!
On another note, we found out today that we each need 5 hours of supervised childcare within an agency foster or adoptive home. So we get to go watch someone else's kids for FIVE HOURS (when?? when will we fit this in?) while they evaluate us. While I can see the wisdom in this it feels like one more thing to add to our already overflowing plate.
Another thing we learned is during our home study Greg's guns will be an issue. Guns and ammo have to be locked in separate locations. (I guess if someone breaks into our home we'll just ask them to hold on while we unload both boxes and load the gun!) The agency suggests a gun safe or locked metal box. We decided today that we'll give Greg's shot gun to his parents to keep in their gun safe and buy TWO lock boxes for the handgun and ammo.
We will also need to finish our living room before the home study. For those who don't know, we bought a fixer upper and are still working on it. The house had wall-to-wall carpeting in the living room. We stained the concrete which leaves 5-1/2" of bare wood showing all around the walls where molding would normally be. You'd have to see it to understand. It's good though because this forces us to get back into house repair mode. And I'm going to talk to my Dad about finishing the mantel for our fireplace.
In summary:
We need to get physicals. $$
We need to take TB tests. $$
We need to get fingerprinted. $$
We need to have the city come inspect our home. $$
We need to child proof our home. $$
We need to gun proof our home. $$
We need to complete repairs on our home. $$
We need a fire extinguisher for our home. $$
Oh yeah, and we need to save money so I can quit my job in August. $$
Why did I think adopting through the state would be affordable? :)
And so I turn again to my new favorite scripture:
"Oh Lord Almighty, Blessed is the man who trusts in you"
Psalm 84:12
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Test 4
Thank you God! I couldn't have done it on my own.
Last but certainly not least is my comprehensive final on the 28th which is 40% of my grade.
Please keep praying!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Agency Interview
God really took care of this one... my boss didn't ask too many questions about why I needed to leave early (especially since I wasn't completely forthright with him but that's another story). Greg is STILL sick, although he did go to the doctor, so he was already home.
The guy in charge, (Mike/Dave?) warned us that rarely do people get the kids they request. He didn't explain clearly why that was the case. We'll see - it's all in God's hands, statistics are thrown out the window in my opinion. Either way we accept God's will.
One thing that did disturb me a little was Mike/Dave's warning that social workers tend to sugar coat their description of kids to make them seem more adoptable. That is not fair to the kids or the parents. Greg pointed out we have 60 days after they come home with us to change our minds, so how is lying to us from the beginning good for any situation? It's not like we wouldn't find out the truth eventually - after the kids are excited about having a Mom and Dad.
HOWEVER I do feel better knowing that not only have I spoken with the caseworker, I have also received information from her supervisor. Hopefully I was given honest feedback. And Mike/Dave (how can I NOT know the guys name when I just met him 2 hours ago? Honestly!) also admitted that since the kids not being on the TARE/State adoption website was a good sign.
Mike/Dave also agreed that we needed an additional bedroom. If push comes to shove, we will need a bigger house. Greg will NOT agree to add a bedroom onto this one. Lindsey and I talked about it, and if we do end up with D, G & S she will move in with my parents until we upgrade the house. I would rather not buy/sell anything until I am in my teaching job.
Okay, so now I will start to gather our paperwork and we start classes this Saturday. And somewhere in between I'll write a 10 page research paper and study for my comprehensive grammar test :) God, You are in control here - 'cause I'm certainly not!!