Everything went well. The agency recruiter and I think the guy in charge of the agency came to our house. They pulled up right behind me. It was a 30 minute visit...unfortunately they wanted to see the room the kids would stay in, AKA our messy office!
God really took care of this one... my boss didn't ask too many questions about why I needed to leave early (especially since I wasn't completely forthright with him but that's another story). Greg is STILL sick, although he did go to the doctor, so he was already home.
The guy in charge, (Mike/Dave?) warned us that rarely do people get the kids they request. He didn't explain clearly why that was the case. We'll see - it's all in God's hands, statistics are thrown out the window in my opinion. Either way we accept God's will.
One thing that did disturb me a little was Mike/Dave's warning that social workers tend to sugar coat their description of kids to make them seem more adoptable. That is not fair to the kids or the parents. Greg pointed out we have 60 days after they come home with us to change our minds, so how is lying to us from the beginning good for any situation? It's not like we wouldn't find out the truth eventually - after the kids are excited about having a Mom and Dad.
HOWEVER I do feel better knowing that not only have I spoken with the caseworker, I have also received information from her supervisor. Hopefully I was given honest feedback. And Mike/Dave (how can I NOT know the guys name when I just met him 2 hours ago? Honestly!) also admitted that since the kids not being on the TARE/State adoption website was a good sign.
Mike/Dave also agreed that we needed an additional bedroom. If push comes to shove, we will need a bigger house. Greg will NOT agree to add a bedroom onto this one. Lindsey and I talked about it, and if we do end up with D, G & S she will move in with my parents until we upgrade the house. I would rather not buy/sell anything until I am in my teaching job.
Okay, so now I will start to gather our paperwork and we start classes this Saturday. And somewhere in between I'll write a 10 page research paper and study for my comprehensive grammar test :) God, You are in control here - 'cause I'm certainly not!!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
When It Rains It Pours
"Oh Lord Almighty, Blessed is the man that trusts in you" - Psalm 84:12
We received word tonight that my Grandmother, my father's Mother, is being taken to hospice tonight. Ouch. This one does hurt. Although she has always lived in Ohio, Grandma always made an effort to stay in touch with us and came to see us every summer growing up.
I'm praying for my Dad tonight. Even thinking about losing both of my parents within a week is enough to make me hit my knees. But even when Dad is hurting he won't show it. He's always been the tough guy. I don't know how I turned into such a cry baby!
And speaking of my Dad, he has an appointment with a gastro specialist on the 21st. They are pretty sure he will need his gall bladder removed.
I took test 4 of 5 tonight in my grammar class. Let's just say it wasn't pretty. I'm going to register for the summer class to ensure I have a seat just in case.
Sweet Pea, our "stray dog" cried and pawed at her crate for hours last night during the thunderstorm. I finally let her out of her crate and she slept like a baby. I woke up the next morning (2 hours later) and she was sleeping in her crate again. (BIG dramatic sigh!)
When life gets tough I read a favorite book by Max Lucado, Six Hours One Friday. It's about anchoring deep, with Christ, when the storms hit. I'm tired but I think I'd better crack it open tonight for encouragement. It's a good one and I highly recommend it.
I didn't mean to whine tonight, but sometimes it just feels good to let it all out. I'm okay though. When life starts wearing me down I want to just lean right back into it. God is God through the good and the bad.
We received word tonight that my Grandmother, my father's Mother, is being taken to hospice tonight. Ouch. This one does hurt. Although she has always lived in Ohio, Grandma always made an effort to stay in touch with us and came to see us every summer growing up.
I'm praying for my Dad tonight. Even thinking about losing both of my parents within a week is enough to make me hit my knees. But even when Dad is hurting he won't show it. He's always been the tough guy. I don't know how I turned into such a cry baby!
And speaking of my Dad, he has an appointment with a gastro specialist on the 21st. They are pretty sure he will need his gall bladder removed.
I took test 4 of 5 tonight in my grammar class. Let's just say it wasn't pretty. I'm going to register for the summer class to ensure I have a seat just in case.
Sweet Pea, our "stray dog" cried and pawed at her crate for hours last night during the thunderstorm. I finally let her out of her crate and she slept like a baby. I woke up the next morning (2 hours later) and she was sleeping in her crate again. (BIG dramatic sigh!)
When life gets tough I read a favorite book by Max Lucado, Six Hours One Friday. It's about anchoring deep, with Christ, when the storms hit. I'm tired but I think I'd better crack it open tonight for encouragement. It's a good one and I highly recommend it.
I didn't mean to whine tonight, but sometimes it just feels good to let it all out. I'm okay though. When life starts wearing me down I want to just lean right back into it. God is God through the good and the bad.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Legacy
"Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers"
-Proverbs 17:6
My Grandfather, Neil Lugthart, passed away Sunday, April 6th at 3:00AM. My Dad called me around 9AM to let me know. It's funny how you react to stuff like this. Honestly, my response was pretty matter-of-fact. He'd been sick a long time, and although he was usually nice to my sister and I, he wasn't always a nice person. Lindsey and I were talking with Mom about how we felt about Grandpa passing and how Dad feels about it. Both of my parents are children of alcoholics (their fathers). My childhood is a miracle considering the statistics that show children of alcoholics most likely will become alcoholics themselves. So having known our Grandfather as such, it is hard to mourn him as some would expect us to.
On one hand you are relieved that they are out of pain. Alcoholics tend to isolate themselves in the end and are very lonely. So my Grandfather had many health issues and was mostly alone. We tried to get him to move down to the Dallas area but he refused. He had a cat that was his life, and lots of regrets.
My Grandfather assured me on a past visit that he had put his trust in Jesus Christ. He was a member of the LDS Church. We talked about it and I can only count on what he told me. Perhaps I will see him again one day. I would like that second chance.
In the end, I think more than the loss of him, we mourn the lack of relationship we should have had. People have been surprised that we are not more upset. But how do you mourn something you never had? Perhaps we should mourn that we do not mourn.
As Greg and I approach parenthood ourselves, we realize how blessed we are to have such amazing grandparents to offer our children. I am grateful to have had the godly influence of my Mother's mother to show me the love a grandparent has.
If the thought of losing your grandparents brings a tear to your eye, or their memories make you long for them, count yourself lucky.
Monday, April 7, 2008
One more hurdle down
I talked to my professor tonight and she didn't even bat an eye when I asked if I could take my final exam earlier. No problem! Woohoo!
Now I just have to study and pass the darn thing! :)
Now I just have to study and pass the darn thing! :)
Friday, April 4, 2008
Case Worker Update
I called and talked to the kids' actual case worker. Ironically, her name is Brandi :) I had her Boss as a contact, and when I called about the kids she told me the case worker was standing in her office. Both ladies were AWESOME and answered as many of my questions as they could. They also said I could bug them as much as I wanted which was very naive of them :) The main question they couldn't/wouldn't answer was where the kids' parents were. I really wanted to know if they were in jail... but they said I couldn't find out details like that until we were licensed, which is reasonable. Oh, and no one else is interested in them so far.
So let's start with the good stuff... all the kids are doing well in school. S, the 4 year old, is in preschool and doing well. All kids have good behavior and "take responsibility for their actions". I asked why the younger were separated from the oldest. The supervisor told me that she honestly didn't remember, but that she was sure it was because they couldn't find a home to take all three. The caseworker said that all three kids were agreeable to the idea of being adopted.
Some "bad" stuff: All three are on ADHD medicine. I didn't say anything to the social workers, but I figure if I was in foster care I'd need meds to help me concentrate too! Having a 4 year old on ADHD meds seems a little ridiculous to me, however these are not normal circumstances. Hopefully being in a stable home will help them come off of these drugs. It is my personal opinion that ADD and ADHD are way over diagnosed in children and that any behavior that warrants such a diagnosis is a consequence of too much TV and other stimuli. However, that is only my unprofessional, non-parental opinion! But I am not going to worry about it, at least they are not on antidepressants or anything like that.
D, the oldest is in therapy, which will probably need to continue. I'm thinking he will have a hard time moving schools again. More to pray about!
Okay. So now we finish the classes and the home study. After we are licensed, our case worker will contact the kids' caseworker. Some special "meeting" will take place to decide if we are good candidates for the kids. If that is a go, the kids' caseworker will send our caseworker the kids' files to go over with us. If we are still interested, we'll ALL have a big meeting: both caseworkers, both foster parents, D's therapist and a few others. At this point we can ask even more questions about the kids. If we are STILL interested, visits will begin. The first couple will involve us going to Houston. They will take place in the foster homes and give us an opportunity to see the kids in a comfortable environment. After that we can take them out, and eventually work up to an overnight visit. The cool thing about that is that CPS will bring the kids to us. Excellent! Then eventually we all agree we like each other, they come stay with us and 60 days later the adoption is finalized.
So let's start with the good stuff... all the kids are doing well in school. S, the 4 year old, is in preschool and doing well. All kids have good behavior and "take responsibility for their actions". I asked why the younger were separated from the oldest. The supervisor told me that she honestly didn't remember, but that she was sure it was because they couldn't find a home to take all three. The caseworker said that all three kids were agreeable to the idea of being adopted.
Some "bad" stuff: All three are on ADHD medicine. I didn't say anything to the social workers, but I figure if I was in foster care I'd need meds to help me concentrate too! Having a 4 year old on ADHD meds seems a little ridiculous to me, however these are not normal circumstances. Hopefully being in a stable home will help them come off of these drugs. It is my personal opinion that ADD and ADHD are way over diagnosed in children and that any behavior that warrants such a diagnosis is a consequence of too much TV and other stimuli. However, that is only my unprofessional, non-parental opinion! But I am not going to worry about it, at least they are not on antidepressants or anything like that.
D, the oldest is in therapy, which will probably need to continue. I'm thinking he will have a hard time moving schools again. More to pray about!
Okay. So now we finish the classes and the home study. After we are licensed, our case worker will contact the kids' caseworker. Some special "meeting" will take place to decide if we are good candidates for the kids. If that is a go, the kids' caseworker will send our caseworker the kids' files to go over with us. If we are still interested, we'll ALL have a big meeting: both caseworkers, both foster parents, D's therapist and a few others. At this point we can ask even more questions about the kids. If we are STILL interested, visits will begin. The first couple will involve us going to Houston. They will take place in the foster homes and give us an opportunity to see the kids in a comfortable environment. After that we can take them out, and eventually work up to an overnight visit. The cool thing about that is that CPS will bring the kids to us. Excellent! Then eventually we all agree we like each other, they come stay with us and 60 days later the adoption is finalized.
The Next Step
On April 15th we're supposed to meet the adoption recruiter at our house at 4:00 PM. Greg is NOT going to request time off for that afternoon, we've decided to let God work that out for us. If necessary we'll reschedule. We feel like Greg has already asked his Boss for a lot of time off, especially for someone just starting out, and we didn't want to ask for more. So if God wants this appointment to happen, it will! 4:00PM is the latest the recruiter would meet with us. I can't say I blame her, but... it makes it really difficult for working folk to meet all these requirements.
Our first adoption class is in 16 days!
In the meanwhile, I'm going to start gathering copies of drivers licenses, marriage certificates, and all of the many other items we have to turn in. We also have to get physicals done... I may try to schedule those now if they don't "expire" before the year is up.
I sent the kids Great-Grandmother a card returning the photos she sent me. I tried to give her a summary style update of where we are in the process. I don't want to get her hopes up on us getting the kids. It may be too late though.
I'm planning on calling the kids' social worker today for a checkup...
We're still praying about my exam date! And money! And room! And always for the kids....
Whew!
Our first adoption class is in 16 days!
In the meanwhile, I'm going to start gathering copies of drivers licenses, marriage certificates, and all of the many other items we have to turn in. We also have to get physicals done... I may try to schedule those now if they don't "expire" before the year is up.
I sent the kids Great-Grandmother a card returning the photos she sent me. I tried to give her a summary style update of where we are in the process. I don't want to get her hopes up on us getting the kids. It may be too late though.
I'm planning on calling the kids' social worker today for a checkup...
We're still praying about my exam date! And money! And room! And always for the kids....
Whew!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Greg is Ready for Class!
Greg showed his boss the PRIDE schedule today. It's 6 classes... 2 Saturdays and 4 evenings. That is a LOT OF missed sales appointments in April. His boss was pretty nice about it, but asked if we had to take ALL of the classes. I could tell Greg was feeling a little overwhelmed at missing that much work, especially at the end of the month. His job carries a lot of pressure. However, he is "Employee of the Week" this week and so far has made all of his sales goals. Thank you Sublett Road BC! :)
Now I need to talk to my professor.... I will have to miss a night of review as well as the final test. She does have a make up date on the syllabus. I'm going to ask my boss for the entire day off then ask my professor if I can take the test earlier in the day.
Unless of course I can just take the Saturday classes. That would be nice since I am really sweating this grammar class. I have never in my life prayed to make a C! The good(ish) news is that if I do fail the class, I can just quit my job one month earlier and retake it in July. I guess I can just find a PT job in between?
No wonder it takes people so long to go through this process! Many of the agencies I talked to said you could be licensed in as little as 2 months, which is our goal. They said it took quite a few families a year to get through all of this. That seemed a little far fetched until I realized we do have to come up with a lot of documentation and copies of EVERYTHING we've ever done in our lives!
The next step is a home visit on the 15th from the agency recruiter.
If all goes well we will start the classes on Saturday the 19th and finish on Tuesday the 29th. Lindsey is going to come to as many as she can.
Now I'm wondering how often I can call the D, G & S's caseworker to get their status... I don't want to bother her too much. Maybe I'll just call before we start the classes and ask if she can send me an e-mail or something..... it would be nice if we could put this off until June if D, G & S are adopted by someone else. By the way, I think that would be really cool. Although I might be a little disappointed, I'd probably also be relieved. Most mostly I'd be happy they were out of foster care and finally all together. After all they've been through they deserve that much.
Now I need to talk to my professor.... I will have to miss a night of review as well as the final test. She does have a make up date on the syllabus. I'm going to ask my boss for the entire day off then ask my professor if I can take the test earlier in the day.
Unless of course I can just take the Saturday classes. That would be nice since I am really sweating this grammar class. I have never in my life prayed to make a C! The good(ish) news is that if I do fail the class, I can just quit my job one month earlier and retake it in July. I guess I can just find a PT job in between?
No wonder it takes people so long to go through this process! Many of the agencies I talked to said you could be licensed in as little as 2 months, which is our goal. They said it took quite a few families a year to get through all of this. That seemed a little far fetched until I realized we do have to come up with a lot of documentation and copies of EVERYTHING we've ever done in our lives!
The next step is a home visit on the 15th from the agency recruiter.
If all goes well we will start the classes on Saturday the 19th and finish on Tuesday the 29th. Lindsey is going to come to as many as she can.
Now I'm wondering how often I can call the D, G & S's caseworker to get their status... I don't want to bother her too much. Maybe I'll just call before we start the classes and ask if she can send me an e-mail or something..... it would be nice if we could put this off until June if D, G & S are adopted by someone else. By the way, I think that would be really cool. Although I might be a little disappointed, I'd probably also be relieved. Most mostly I'd be happy they were out of foster care and finally all together. After all they've been through they deserve that much.
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